Where do I start??

Here is the complete list of rules for the event:

  1. You must ride a bike 500+ miles in 4 days
  2. You must ride in at least 2 states
  3. See Rule #5.  HTFU.

Here are some basic facts about the ride:

  1. You will wonder why you signed up for this stupid thing by the end of Day 1.
  2. You will eat Mexican food.  A lot.
  3. You may break a spoke.  Or 2.
  4. Your beer to all other liquids consumed ratio will be roughly 1:1.
  5. You will most likely flat. Maybe more than once.
  6. It will be as hot as Hades on at least 1 day.
  7. You’ll tell your friends about the adventure for years to come.
  8. You may be asked to drink tequila out of a handgun.
  9. Someone will get stung by something.  It might be you.
  10. You will tell or listen to more stupid “butt” jokes than you have in your whole life.
  11. It will rain so hard you will consider building an Ark on at least 1 day.
  12. You will be yelled at by Mark Lampe.
  13. On Day 5, you will actually miss riding your bike, but have no desire to sit on it.  At all.
  14. You may start craving bad gas station food when the ride is over.
  15. You will see some of the best scenery Wisconsin has to offer.
  16. You will start planning for next year’s ride at the end of Day 4.

How about a few memorable quotes:

  • “This water tastes like a fart”
  • “Ask your Mom what a pervert is…”
  • “Don’t lean your bike on my truck…”
  • “Hey! Whoa! Wrong bed!!”

Maybe pictures are the best way to tell the story:

Left to right:
Jeremy Christopherson, Jeremy Thorpe, Jeremy Kayzar, Jeremy Balden, Jeremy McArdle, Jeremy Grosz and Jeremy Lampe.
Photo by Jeremy Sukkert
McArdle enjoying a daily flat tire sandwich while  simultaneously ruining the ride.
“Technically” not a flat…
“Definitely” a flat.
Balden’s ass… Day 1
Balden’s ass… Day 4
One of our favorite activities was taking time to pull over to stop and smell the flowers each day.
How every day ended…
How every day started…
Rule #2 fulfilled
Notice anything unusual in this picture?? Yep, Balden is SITTING on his bike in the background!
We did about 17,000 feet of climbing. Here’s a little bump that was about 3 miles long:
We only asked the prettiest, cleanest Meth hookers with the best teeth and fewest open sores on their face to take our picture!
Best surface for walking a mile in Shimano cleats? A mile of wet rocks!
We did actually manage to ride our bikes for 506 miles over the weekend.
Come ON McArdle!! Just WALK from here!!

2013 Windy 500 planning starts today!  It will be bigger and badder than ever.  


4 responses to “2012 Windy 500 is in the books!”

  1. Jeremy Balden Avatar
    Jeremy Balden

    Unbelievable post! I am literally in tears!!! I want to thank Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy and Jeremy for one of the best “Guy” vacations I have ever participated in! Although, I think after this ride, at least one of us, “Jeremy”, is thinking of getting a sex change to make next years ride a little less painfully!


  2. Jeremy Grosz Avatar
    Jeremy Grosz

    Best write up about the best 500 miles by bike in 4 days trip I’ve ever done!

    BTW – Jeremy was doing more nut adjusting than a squirrel with OCD!


  3. Jeremy Sukkert Avatar
    Jeremy Sukkert

    Why is everyones first name Jeremy?


  4. DINGO1 Avatar

    Good write up Jeremy K, The babboon ass was funny and Jeremy M….. what the _ _ _ _ . dose he own stock in a rubber company somewhere? Sorry i will miss next year it looked like alot of fun.


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