…Faster than Last

“Bones heal, pain is temporary, and chicks dig scars…”

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about Jason Kayzar:

Unprofessional Cyclist

  • Windy 500 – Year 15: When the Wind Doesn’t Fight Back


    Every great story needs a demon; an anti-hero. In 2011, ours showed up in full force: flat tires, wrong turns, racing the setting sun with no lights, aching legs, no Plan B, and the kind of grit that only emerges when everything goes sideways. That was the very first Windy 500, it was chaos wrapped in camaraderie, and it set the tone for what became an annual pilgrimage of pain, perseverance, and pedal strokes.


    But here’s the paradox: over the years, the better we got, the less the ride fought back.
    This year, the demon didn’t even bother to show up. The weather (sort of) cooperated. The bikes held up. The legs were strong. Logistics ran like clockwork. And while that’s a testament to how far we’ve come, it also left me staring at a blank computer screen wondering how to tell this story for the 15th time.


    For me, adversity isn’t just the path, it’s the fuel. It’s my “why”. It’s what transforms effort into meaning, and chaos into legend. I’ve spent the vast majority of my life fighting my own invisible demons, and the Windy turned that inside to outside every year. I would roll out of my driveway inhaling clean, fresh air and exhaling pain and struggle. The harder I would force myself to work, the lighter I would become. So what happens when the obstacles disappear? When the path is smooth, and the rhetorical winds, for once, are at our backs?


    This year’s Windy 500 wasn’t about conquering hardship. It was about what remains when hardship fades: the people, the rituals, the quiet satisfaction of doing what we love, with the people we love. It is no longer a battle, now just a celebration. And maybe that’s the story worth telling.

    The Stats

    Under the category of “…spirit of adventure…” we’ve experimented with many different things to keep the ride fresh and interesting over the years:

    Headcount – year one was 4 dudes, no SAG, no room for error. Subsequent years topped 25 riders (I never remember the specifics). Coordinating a ride for that many people was a rolling circus, it’s way too many. Science has now proven that 12 is about the perfect number.

    Routes – the original 3 rules were: Ride 500 miles, in 4 days, and cross a state line. We’ve since broken all 3 of them. We’ve tried a 5 day trip (too long). We’ve tried an urban trip (an absolute disaster – WI to IL to IN and back), and we’ve done over 500 and less than 500 miles. Once we ran out of directions to go to cross a state line, we starting repeating routes. That was fine the first time, but not the 3rd. We’ve since shit-canned the notion of leaving WI unless it serves the route on that particular year. The biggest reason for that change is the fact that we now rent a “home base” on night #1, and stay there for the entire trip. We used to rent 3 separate hotels on our way to and from a destination. Having the base camp means that our Saturday & Sunday routes are “out and backs”. Now, we’d rather stay somewhere interesting that has a ton of riding options, than race to a generic destination just because it’s 250 miles from my front door.

    Terrain – we’ve done pancake flat routes to the UP (boring) and dick-punch hilly routes (multiple trips to Winona , MN, which were fun for some and Hell on Earth for others). The best routes are somewhere in the middle: endless miles of sloping rollers.

    Accommodations – We’ve stayed in shitbag hotels and Hyatts, and now multiple VRBOs. The VRBOs rule (as long as we have enough beds…) because we live like a big family on vacation instead of pairs of dudes staying in individual rooms every night. Plus, we can cook our own meals.

    And for those keeping track, here’s our updated stats list:

    Disclaimer – I use my computer for these stats. Computers may vary by model, especially for total elevation gain. Mine is likely short of actual, but oh well.)

    Total miles traveled: 7,463. Yes, I know. 500 x15=7,500. Year 1 we logged 535 miles, and we continued to bank rollover miles through 2021. Since 2022 though the Windy 500 has been the “Windy 4 mumble mumble…”, and now we’re in a deficit. There have been a few requests to dial it back up to 500+ in 2026. I’m down.

    Total elevation gained: 186,642 feet or 35.35 miles. That’s a lot. Unless you see this stat: Total elevation gain in the 2025 Tour de France was 172,240 feet. We’ve had flat route years – 2015 was only 5,825 total feet of climbing, and we’ve tried more challenging routes – 2018 was 18,731 feet of elevation. Several riders clocked 20,000+ ft on their computers on this year’s ride, which would make it the tallest ever. However, mine only said 17,037, making it (officially) the 4th hilliest on record.

    Total ride time: 435 hours, 6 minutes, or roughly 18 days and 8 hours. That’s an overall average speed of 17.15. This is the stat I’ve struggled with the most, for absolutely no reason. This is, has always been, and will always be an “adventure ride”. A “fun ride”. It is not a race, or race training, or a big dick contest, but I’ve always had a hard time just slowing down and fully enjoying the ride. In 2011 (year 1) we did 545 miles at 18.8 mph. Only 4 guys, no SAG. 3 of us doing the vast majority of the work after halfway through Day 1, which ended up being the longest in Windy history: 163 miles. That means that other years, our average was below 17 mph. I find it really hard to enjoy riding that slow, when we are doing 4 back-to-back centuries in a row. A few weeks ago, I went out for a 13 mile ride with my wife and we averaged 13 mph. We had a blast, but that pace for a day of the Windy would have meant 10 hours of riding, plus rest stops, or about 13-14 hours total. Starting at 8am and finishing at 10pm? No thanks. While I always seem to be the dickhead pushing the pace for no reason, this year I was definitely more relaxed. I hope to continue that trend next year.

    Top speed: 55.5 mph. Again, for me anyway, fast = fun. Some years we climb a lot, which means we get to descend a lot. Some people (me!) love bombing the downhills at max speed, others love to just coast down and enjoy the scenery. Either way, we always regroup at the bottom.

    Ok, on to 2025…

    One thing we’ve never been able to outrun is the distance limitation of leaving from my driveway every year. Regardless of which direction we go, we can only get 250 miles away before we have to turn around. But this year, Chris and bc hatched a plan to overcome that barrier. Enter MF Fred!

    Fred is our retired SAG driver. We randomly stopped to change a flat in his driveway one year, we met him, we hung out, and the next year he was our driver. That’s the kind of stuff that happens on the Windy. He and his amazing wife live in Beaver Dam, about 60 miles NW of my house. This year, we all drove to Fred’s and took off from his driveway, giving us a 60 mile extension cord to utilize. The results? Success! Plus, we got a badass lead-out from his lovely wife on her trike.

    Aside from that, our age and experience has finally begun to rule out the stuff we don’t want or don’t like or don’t need to do. We’ve really whittled it down to the purest form we can: ride all day, hang out together at night, get up and do it again.

    Repeat that process every August until we die…

    After that? Nothing but riding bikes and being awesome…

    “Riding out” the storm that brought historic flooding to Wisconsin…

    16th edition: July 31 – August 2, 2026…

  • 2024 Windy 500 wrap-up

    2024 Windy 500 wrap-up


    Endless miles of rollers, Olympics, bikes, and brothers from another mother.

    “Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you’re no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn’t just a means to an end but a unique event in itself. This leaf has jagged edges. This rock looks loose. From this place the snow is less visible, even though closer. These are things you should notice anyway. To live only for some future goal is shallow. It’s the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here’s where things grow.”

    Source: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

    So, it’s been a few months now since we rolled. This wrap-up post has been sitting, half-finished, on my laptop since September. For reasons I will explain, it gets tougher and tougher to summarize the ride every year.

    It was amazing (– how’s that?). It usually is, even in some of the not-as-awesome years of the past. Each year, because of the nature of the ride, I equate the 4 days to personal growth, or regression, based on whatever is happening in my life at that moment. Therefore, when I think back on those 4 days, I don’t really think about covering 500 +/- miles on two wheels, but rather – what issues did I work out in my head over those endless hours on the road? Some years have been very tough. Wearing a fake smile and wanting so badly to really enjoy the moment, but feeling trapped in my own skull, unable to get out of my own way. Others have been more liberating – the stars aligning during a partcularly high upswing in life, and I was able to breathe out just as much as I was breathing in. I can’t speak for the other guys on the ride, but I imagine that the ones who always show up have similar M.O.s. Yes, they ride bikes all day over sometimes challenging terrain at sometimes challenging paces, but perhaps they too do so to exorcise some mental demons and clear their heads a bit.

    At one point in life, I had the honor of working with a lot of military veterans. We sold and serviced industrial equipment all over the globe. Vets could jump on a plane with a Dollar Store screwdriver, land in Dubai, find their destination, stay for 2 weeks, fix the equipment and head home. They taught me a lot about self-reliance, toughness, and respect. They also taught me a new term – “liberty risk”. A soldier is considered a liberty risk when they are deemed likely to engage in behavior that could lead to trouble or disciplinary issues when granted freedom from duty. Meaning, send a young kid fresh out of a stint in the military to Dubai for 2 weeks with no supervision and a corporate credit card and don’t be surprised when he’s out getting shit-faced, hanging out with hookers and doing God knows what else at night.

    Over the course of the Windy, I had become somewhat of a liberty risk. Even though I knew I had to wake up each day and ride 125 miles, I would often drink too much on the rides. I never let it affect my ability to ride, or even ride strong, but it was always there. As the years wore on, I was screwing myself further and further into the depths of dispair personally, and the 4-day getaway was my excuse to “have some fun” with my friends. There were a couple of years where I dialed it way back, and a year where I was completely sober, but I still hadn’t dealt with the reasons that I was so unhappy. So, eventually I’d ramp it back up and find myself in that comfortable misery again.

    I’m typing this because it’s a kind of therapy for me. It’s been a few years now since I had a drink and my life could not be more amazing. The past 2 Windy 500s were all about the ride, living in the moment, and spending good quality time with a group of guys that I really love to be with. We laughed at stupid shit, talked about real life stuff, and ate all of our meals together – like a family.

    That’s what the spirit of this ride was always meant to be, and for me the past 2 years have been an unbelievable leap forward. The Windy finally has it’s soul back. The details now take care of themselves, and we’re not trying to craft something new each year. It’s become what we (collectively) all wanted and needed it to be for ourselves. And – bonus – we get to ride our bikes all day. That is why this ride holds such a special place in my life. I need to do it each year. I can’t imagine not doing it ever, even though I know that sadly someday that time will come.

    So – I will recap the ride below, but mostly with pics, because I can only speak for myself about the experience, and I’ve already done that.

    ~Jason

    They say you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.

    First off, who is “they“? They are wrong. (“Thine”, “Thou” are wrong?) I have had the good fortune to hand-pick the people I call my family. And I’ve been lucky or blessed enough for them to do the same. Starting with my wife. Then our 2-person family got a dog and created a few more humans to help fill our house. And now I have all my Windy brothers too. Unlike biological brothers, these friendships are built on shared experiences, mutual respect, and a deep understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I have laughed until I cried with these guys and cried until I laughed. Over the past 14 years we’ve ridden our bikes 7,000 miles together on this ride, (and countless additional miles on other rides). Riding 7,000 miles is roughly equivalent to traveling the distance from Los Angeles, California, to New York City and back, plus a bit extra. The origin of this ride was a replacement for NOT riding my bike cross-country back when I was 40. Now, we’ve achieved that goal more than 2 times, and we’re still going. We’ve climbed over 32 miles straight into the sky together, and descended that same 169,605 feet of elevation at speeds of more than 55 miles per hour. Every Windy has started at the end of my driveway, and ended right back there a few days later. It’s the closest we can come to being 13 years old again – setting out for all day adventures on our bikes. The best part back then was the sense of freedom, just pedaling away with the wind in your face, not a care in the world except making it home before dark. Or fast forwarding to 2024, making it our VRBO before dark. And we still do it for the same reason.

    The 2024 Windy 500 in words and pictures…

    It gets harder and harder every year to describe this ride – not because it’s not awesome, but because it is. It’s kind of like eating your favorite meal at your favorite restaurant once a year for 14 years. The first time – indescribably delicious. The second time – just as good as you remember. The 14th time? Yep, amazing. Just like last time. Not much more to say.

    Onward.

    Our small group rolled out just after 8:00 am on August 2. Our Day 1 destination this year was Sheboygan Falls, with a West Bend breakfast stop. After X number of years, the crowd favorite breakfast spot, “Alma’s” in Allenton, closed its doors and we were forced to look elsewhere. bc found us a great little diner in downtown West Bend that was last cleaned in a year that preceded my birth. Unfortunately, they knew how to TAKE the reservation, but did not how to HOLD the reservation. Probably best, since we’d have all left with typhoid fever or something worse.

    So we rolled on. Eventually, we found a weak excuse for breakfast at a gas station (shocking, I know). Eat Trash was on the menu that day, Ride Fast was not. But everyone found a luke warm sammich or nut roll or something to keep them going and we got back on the road.

    And the ride continued. A very humid and somewhat hot day presented definite energy challenges for the group. To add to the less-than-perfect conditions, we faced an almost constant Northeast headwind, and we rolled up and over about 4,000 feet of climbing all day. Many of the hills were rollers, but there were a few short, steep efforts that taxed about half the riders. Any of these factors alone would not have presented much of a challenge, but the combined force of all 4 for an entire day seemed to sap the group’s spirit.

    This is by no means a race. Contrary to what my non-bike-riding friends seem to think about a 500 mile ride, we do roll at less than what I would consider a “chat” pace. There have definitely been times when the pace was hotter, especially when we were younger and the make-up of riders that particular year was dominated by guys who had raced their share of criteriums. But this ride has really mellowed into a “ride”. Having said that, this year’s pace was the slowest on record. That’s neither good nor bad, just a fact. And slower speeds dictate a completely different style of riding. I had planned to ride my single speed for all 4 days, but after Day 1, I realized that I couldn’t ease up hills with the group using 52×16 gearing, so I opted to grab my spare (geared) bike from the SAG van for Days 2-4.

    Mike O. sponsored an Easter Egg hunt at Mile Marker 77, but no eggs were found. Just nuts.

    A couple (2) flats was all that registered in the “Mechanical!” category for all of the miles, with both coming on the front end of the weekend. There’s a definite difference with most guys running tubeless setups now.

    Day one is always the settle-in day. Imagine a silent rave, where everyone is listening to their own music instead of the same track. That’s the start of the Windy. Everyone rolling out at the cadence that they naturally default to, and then trying to adjust to everyone else’s. Clusterfuck is a word that comes to mind, although it’s not really that bad. It just takes a few miles for everyone to settle in. By Day 4, the pace is a never-ending beat in your head, and you can ride at the group’s pace without a second thought or a glance at your computer.

    Unfortunately, prior to August, our 4th Musketeer, Mike O., tried to ride his bike directly through the Earth and broke his hip, but not his spirit. He took one for the Team, and drove the sag wagon this year.

    I have never driven a sag wagon. Mike had never driven a sag wagon. Driving a sprinter van all day behind a group of middle-aged men going 20mph sounds as amazing as shaving with a cheese grater. But our man soldiered on and made an amazing sagman! He also vowed to make it a one-and-done experience.

    P.S. – the most scenic, spectacular routes this year were served up by the legendary, but absent, Sam Janisch. Mike proudly drove the Sammobile for the entire duration. If all goes well, and the juju has rubbed off, Mike will be 125 pounds next year, sport a porn stache, and be fast as shit. If Sam doesn’t return for 2025, we will blanket party his ass.

    The day ended at our base camp chateau in Sheboygan Falls, 109 miles from home, and just 100 vertical feet from Dairy Queen. Age and wisdom have taught us that staying with Tom Bodet, or his meth head cousin, for 3 nights is not worth the pennies saved or diseases acquired. This is an actual photo of the worst hotel in America, which we stayed at in one of our trips to Winona, MN. Yes, they were selling used wheelchairs AND organs in the lobby.

    For the past few years, we’ve upped the ante and sprung for a nice VRBO. Game changer.

    Day 1 left no gas in the tank for the arduous 100 foot climb for frozen treats. But Day 2?… Note McCardle’s Bruce Pagel impersonation – SAFETY FIRST.

    Day 2, 3, 4…

    After a real night’s sleep on a real bed, Day 2 was a 123 mile loop North to to Denmark (Wisconsin).

    Pat and David found new and innovative ways to keep Leach cool.

    Day 3 was another out and back, this time through Kiel and more Westerly before looping back to Sheboygan Falls. Amazing scenery and endless rollers. Or was that Day 2? Day 4? Does it matter?

    Along the way, I tried my hand at mini golf…

    The new rigs, Sam’s van and my bike, were flawless all weekend.

    And Janish was always there to help us communicate with American Sign Language…

    The scenery was absolutely beautiful, with some areas reminding me of the Driftless routes we have taken in years past.

    Day 4 was a 118 mile zig zag home through more beautiful, rolling Wisconsin backroads.

    There are lots more stories, and a few more pictures, but you kind of had to be there.

    Next year’s plan will slowly take shape over the winter and early spring and we’ll be back on the road before we know it for the 15th running of the Windy 500.

  • 2023 Windy 500 wrap-up

    2023 Windy 500 wrap-up


    “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”  ~ Aristotle 

    Well here we are – Year 13 of this thing we call “the Windy”. After Year One I lost count of how many different riders have participated in one way, shape or form, but I’m guessing that it’s 70+. Most go the full distance, a few have done partial rides, some just join for the Friday ride to breakfast, and there have been a handful of different SAG drivers – both rider/drivers and just dedicated drivers.

    Early on, this was just the “Ride of Stupidity”. A handful of dudes covering as many as 160+ miles in one day, and then repeating the cycle for 3 more days. Initially, the ride was open to anyone who was dumb enough to participate. We didn’t necessarily take on strangers, but we didn’t exactly pre-screen the candidates. (Ask Steve Sarver about the year he showed up in the driveway 10 minutes before launch and everyone said “…who’s that guy…?”)

    Some of the the earlier iterations were fraught with frustrations because the group was such a mixed bag of riding skills and abilities. It’s one thing to do a solo 100-mile charity ride at 15 mph, but it’s a whole other thing to do 500 miles in 4 days riding 2-up at 20-24mph on the flats, and staying together on the hills. More than a few guys were ground to a fine powder by Day 4 over the years. And guys who’ve raced criteriums for years, 6″ from a wheel on all 4 sides, at 30+mph, were frustrated with the accordion effect of inexperienced group riders hitting their brakes uphill (true story). As the years ticked by, what was once a tiny group of 4 dudes with no clue and no support, became a rolling circus of sorts, almost 30 guys thick, requiring professional-level planning and logistics, and it ceased to be much fun.

    And then – COVID happened.

    The world crawled into a dark hole and turned out the lights. All was silent except for our small group of guys – determined to live life again, even if only for 4 days. There was no longer a waiting list, or a roster of 2 dozen plus. In 2020 we went back to less than 10 riders, and it was spectacular! McArdle and bc chose some routes that were not only beautiful, but really challenged the group physically without tearing us apart. At the end of each day we were spent, but happy. The local bar/restaurant was oblivious to the world outside and we gathered with the mask-less locals like time traveling bandits. We had re-discovered the true soul of that original Windy year, and it was time to rebuild.

    Admittedly, 2021 was a stutter-step. We again tried to serve the needs and wants of the masses with a vanilla ride that lulled me to sleep. It was still fun, and I enjoyed it, but I thought it was boring and predictable. It didn’t recapture the magic of that previous year, and I felt like I finally knew why.

    Let’s be honest, Year One was a mess. But it was a beautiful mess. There was some planning, but not enough to really address all of the issues that we encountered. At the end of each day, we had a clean bed and a shower. That was guarantee #1. And that was the only guarantee. The rest was a lot of “rolling the dice” and other gambling analogies. But, it was an adventure, in the purest sense of the word. While we didn’t need to “lay it all on black” again, we did need to rekindle that spirit of freedom. So the powers that be (bc, McArdle, me, Mike O.) with input from a few others, burned the Windy rule book and began re-writing it. No more “surprise” pre-planned tourist stops. In fact, less stops. Meaning, less Kwik Trip stop-for-way-too-long while someone debates the merits of salted nut rolls vs. grab-n-go sammiches, and more stop and stretch in someone’s front yard in Bumfuckville, USA. Less pre-planned, foot by foot, 125 mile routes, all pre-loaded into our computers weeks prior to launch. We needed to get to get to our base camp and back, and let’s just figure the rest out on our feet. In fact, if we cross a state line, so be it. If we don’t who cares? And finally, accommodations. Year One was a few crappy hotels. Over the years those places were sometimes much nicer, sometimes crappier. But they were always hotels – 2 guys to a room, meet in the lobby or the pool area at night and compete with screaming kids and the echo chamber effect of tile everything, hot-as-balls pool common areas. What we needed was our own place…

    May I present to you, 2022 the Year our Lord. Aw, snap – we figured it out!

    (I’m not retyping that whole thing… you can read about it here. Moving on.)

    Finally, the 13th annual running of the Windy 500, 2023.

    We didn’t try to re-create anything this time. We didn’t try to re-capture anything either. We started fresh. As McArdle said, we just focused on what WE wanted to do with 4 days off work and on bikes. And it was AMAZEBALLS!

    Day 1:

    Like any other year, the witty banter and nervous excitement ramps up a few weeks before launch. Admittedly, it’s not like in years past when 20+ dudes were practically peeing their pants for two months prior like it was 11:55pm on Christmas Eve and we were 8 years old, but it was banter nonetheless…

    At roughly 6:30 a.m. the the day of launch, the texts fire up: people on their way, arriving, etc., and the show begins. The SAG wagon sits empty, ready for the load-up, and riders begin pulling up. Some ride in, some drive in. Slowly and methodically, my driveway becomes the departure area for Train #13 at Grand Central Station. Wives dropping off husbands, kisses goodbye, scurrying off to their own weekend adventures. Over-caffeinated middle-aged men in too-tight Lycra, anxiously pacing the driveway, waiting for the checkered flag. Eventually, the van is loaded, all of the last minute bathroom visits are concluded, the SAG driver settles in, and we roll out.

    The rollout – 364 days of planning and anticipation turn into infinite pedal strokes and warm sun on our faces. Out of the driveway, up the hill, checking to make sure everyone’s in, Blake tapping out, checking for the SAG van, settling in…

    Over the next 10, 20, 30 miles, everyone begins to define the group’s rhythm. It’s not a dictated pace, it’s a mash-up of the individual contributions. At first, it’s clunky – too fast up the hills, too slow up the hills. Not fast enough on the descents. But eventually the pace melts into a warm gumbo that seems just right. It’s a casual cadence that requires some effort. And just as it locks in, we stop for breakfast.

    If you’ve been paying attention for the past 8 years, then you know where we are. Alma’s Cafe in beautiful Allenton, WI. OK, maybe Allenton is just another crappy farm town, but Alma’s is the shit. They’ve been rolling out the red carpet for us since 2016, and we’ll probably never not go there! Coffee, hash browns and fat egg, bacon, sausage and cheeeez sammiches by the dozens await. It’s a team effort, and we do our best to smash them all.

    Then with bellies adequately filled, it’s out to the parking lot to immediately climb a hill. Never fails, all the best food stops are at the base of a hill. We say goodbye to the Breakfast Club riders and begin the real ride.

    Someone had to tell Mike and Pat that this was serious business. Stop having so much fun. Dammit. You too Leach!

    And the group rolls on…

    Much of the early climbing every year is just getting away from my house. Heading West or North, our usual routes, takes us into the country and the rolling kettles and hills of Southern Wisconsin. This year, the stars aligned. We had no mechanicals, and just a couple of flats. Slow leaks really, but nothing that took us off our game. We were free to roam the countryside for as long as the group dictated before finding the next Kwik Trip or shaded front lawn to park at for a few minutes.

    Not only were the guys this year some top notch dudes to spend time with, they were also very capable of keeping a moderate pace throughout the day. The slower guys took it up a notch and the faster guys took it down a notch and we found a great medium-speed pace that fit us pretty well for all 4 days. Along the way we were able to check off most of the Windy favorites: A&W Root Beer, Kwik Trip, random strangers’ yards, etc.

    All in all, the day was fun, uneventful and went by relatively quickly. The weather was spectacular, and, despite averaging almost 500 watts, I felt fresh as a daisy when we rolled into the best Windy 500 shack ever created…

    (I’m sure the Wahoo watts formula is accurate, right?)

    Behold – the most awesome place we’ve ever stayed. Proof that someone did something right at least once:

    As bc likes to say, this place did not suck. We were the very first group to stay in this brand new construction, VRBO shack on the velvety Lake Wagena. Amazing place, amazing food – prepared by our own riding chefs – starlit evening cruises on the pontoon, and bonfires before bed.

    Day 2:

    Day 2 was the kindest, gentlest day. 126 miles, 3,661 feet of climbing, casual pace. We headed north from Wild Rose along the deserted back roads of Central Wisconsin. Traffic was at an extreme minimum and the miles ticked by almost effortlessly. At times it literally felt like we were riding through some abandoned golf courses.

    I would have really enjoyed myself if not for the terrible traffic, weather, scenery, and riding companions…

    First stop of the day was hampered by a parade at the exact moment we swung onto Main Street, Shitdickville. You cannot make this stuff up. Fortunately, we waited it out at a tiny diner that served the best quiche known to mankind.

    bc challenging the jockey to a footrace, both wearing horseshoes. OR he was comparing unit sizes. I was too far away to hear the actual exchange.

    A quick word about this year’s Rookie – Sam Janisch. In the days leading up to this year’s ride, I talked to a number of non-cyclists about the ride and the riders. I mentioned that this was the first time we’ve ever had a father/son duo. There seemed to be some concern about the young lad keeping up with the seasoned riders. Unlike the geriatrics of the bunch, Sam spent some time racing on the Pro circuit in Europe. Quite recently. So my concern was that we would bore the shit out of him with our “chat pace” riding all day. Unless Sam is the world’s best actor, his old soul actually fit our group like a glove. He was happy to take pulls into the wind, but also just happy to be riding at any pace. And seeing him riding shoulder to shoulder with his Dad most of the time was just awesome.

    I’m not crying, you’re crying!

    A younger, more innocent and unmoustachioed Pro Sam…

    Back on the road… or gravel. Up Nort’, you get what you get. I’m always happy to launch into some gravel, especially on the 30c tires I rode this year. The roads were generally in pretty good shape and not a car to be seen for miles at a crack.

    A quick stop at bc’s cabin, with ice cold refreshments provided by his lovely wife Pam, and we were back on the road.

    If this is your idea of a good time, you were already part of our group… There was a lot of disbelief about our good fortune all weekend. A lot of “I can’t believe how awesome…”. (And that was just the talk about me).

    Here, Mike offers encouraging words as I poop myself. Or something. Not sure what was going on in this pic:

    The food we find on the Windy is always legendary. It’s usually Mexican, but this year the theme that materialized was “Porkopalypse”. I think we enjoyed pork for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 3 months straight, even though we were only gone for 4 days.

    My weight gain this year over the 4 days was: 8 pounds.

    Lunch today was… pork sammiches. I gave the bar owner a serious myocardial infarction when I dumped an entire container of the “Intense Pig of Death” sauce over my lunch. I had to ask for it twice, because apparently they keep it in a vault next to some uranium. It did NOT kill me, but later that day I found myself sweating much more intensely than the others…

    More riding, more swimming, more boating, and more awesomeness ensued. End of day, wait for the next. Begin again at daybreak.

    Day 3:

    More amazing roads to ride and riders to ride them.

    Mandatory Kwik Trip stops each day kept us fueled up. Nothing but the finest processed and over-salted foods for these race-tuned machines!

    The Windy is actually my birthday ride. But it’s also Bill Finn’s birthday, and this year Bill’s wife contacted me pre-ride to help with a covert mission to spread joy and happiness to her husband. I chose to accept the mission. My role was easy – just give her the location of our HQ, and keep her updated as to our whereabouts during the day. Kirsten drove all the way up to Wild Rose while we were out and put out a surprise for Bill when we rolled up:

    We celebrated Bill’s birthday the best way we knew how: by treating it like every other day of the Windy. It was really hard to pack any more fantasticality into each day.

    Day 4:

    Fortunately or unfortunately, there’s always got to be a Day 4. Sad because the Windy is winding down. Happy to be heading home to family. Some guys are still fairly fresh while others a bit road-worn. We dial the pace down a notch and enjoy our last day on the road together.

    The day rolls along and sights begin to seem familiar as we get closer and closer to home.

    Eventually, we ride right back into my driveway. Sweaty hugs and high fives all around, a group pic, and everyone starts packing up. It’s all part of the routine. Inevitably, someone leaves something at my house, like a desperate first date hoping to find a reason to return and pick up where they left off. But sadly, it’s over. For now. 2024 planning and preparation starts immediately.

    I think Lex found Bill’s bottle opener…

    So, another year comes to a close. I will ride this ride until I’m dead, and then maybe 3 years after that. It’s such a part of my soul that I cannot imagine a summer without it anymore.

    I’ve been fortunate enough to spend these 53 days, over 13 years, riding 6,549 miles and climbing 156,639 vertical feet (almost 30 miles straight up) with some of the best guys on Earth. I love you guys, thank you all for coming along, and I will cherish your brotherhood for all of my life.

  • 2022 Windy 500 wrap up

    2022 Windy 500 wrap up


    “The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.” – Henry Longfellow

    I ran into Lex at Colectivo a few weeks ago, and he gently reminded me that this wrap-up has been sitting in my to-do box for way too long. He’s right, but I needed time to think through my commentary like every other year. And, like every other year, there’s been a lot of “stuff” going on. This week, Mike reminded me about this wrap-up. Again.

    The Windy means more to me than most people will ever know or understand, so the process of reviewing and writing about it holds a special place in my heart. Whether anyone reads this or not, my recap has to be an honest assessment and that’s a process that can take some time to get right.

    So here goes… The 12th annual Windy 500.

    This one was definitely in my top 3 of all time. It lacked all the stuff I’ve come to dislike about the trip but included much of the heart and soul that we’d been missing from the past few years. Short on mileage and long on experiences, 2022 was the perfect mix.

    The rules of the Windy have gradually and deliberately been abandoned over the years as the ride has evolved. In fact, we’ve broken all three at one time or another:

    • Must ride 500 miles
    • Must cross a state line
    • Must be completed in 4 days

    The riders have evolved (read: aged) too. Which is just fine by me, since I’m one of them. What started as a crazy idea with next-to-no planning has turned into an annual event that I look forward to almost more than any other.

    When initially planning this year’s trip, we dug deep into the experiences of the past to try to (finally) figure out where the secret sauce really comes from. Is it the route? Is it the challenge? The riders? The weather? Yes to all of the above. So ultimately, the answers had to come from what the ride wasn’t.

    The Windy 500 is not a guided tour. We had been slowly adding stops and “surprises” along the routes until it had eventually morphed into something as predictable as a ride on the Zoomobile. “…coming up on your left you’ll see Monkey Island…”. This year we didn’t even know where we were going on Day 2 or 3. McArdle and bc (with help from others) plotted out the next day’s route at the kitchen table before bed each night.

    By the way, the kitchen table is something we never had before. This is not a ride for the pampered glamper. While we’re not carrying tents and backpacks, we’re also not going to look for bougie hotels anymore. This time, we booked a VRBO that slept a big group. And while the sleeping arrangements were not ideal after long days in the saddle, the vibe was perfect. Unfortunately, some got comfy beds while others got terrible beds/couches to stretch out on after 100+ plus miles. But everyone sharing one house was exactly what had been missing post-ride. In 2023 we’ll again go the shared house route but we’ll definitely look for better sleeping accommodations. Having everyone together at night made for some of the best brotherhood, conversations, and fun of any year I can remember.

    Because our VRBO was a condo, we got the added bonus of having a bachelor party group for neighbors. While our 40-60+ year-old group was content to chill and hit the hay early each night, “Moose” and his 20-something Illinois dumbassery crowd next door provided endless entertainment for us.

    The Windy is not a ride for the casual cyclist. There were a few throat punch days in years past that really tested the group. And I was a huge fan of those days, for reasons I’ll explain later, but this ride is not the time or place for appraising individuals’ mental and physical limitations. It’s a time for community, camaraderie and shared experiences. Should there be a tough climb or two? Hell yes. Should there be full days of testing the limits? Absolutely not.

    The Windy is not for the solo rider. Over the years we’ve included several riders who log a lot of miles, but never in groups. They were “Windy-curious” outliers who are strong riders but couldn’t or wouldn’t hold a wheel. They never struggled to hang in, even on the toughest days, but their personalities and/or lack of group riding experience put them at a big disadvantage. They also put others on edge, even at risk, by not being comfortable riding at speed in tight groups in maybe less-than-ideal conditions.

    The Windy is not something you show up for and are escorted through. Year one was a colossal disaster in some respects. While the memories of that year have been romanticized over the years and many of the bad parts have been forgotten, we just about killed one rider. We ran out of sunlight on Day 1 and rode almost 40 additional unplanned miles, testing everyone’s limits. We had no backup plan. No support. No tour guides. But it was fucking awesome. By comparison, last year was so scripted that we could have printed glossy brochures and charged a fortune to anyone that was only there to brag about it online afterwards. For me, it sucked.

    This year, we finally made some decisions with our hearts, about what we wanted to spend 4 days doing. The “we” is bc, McArdle, and me, but also some of the veteran riders who have the same passion for this ride and want the same shared experiences (Lex, Mike, Finn, etc.). Here’s what we did:

    Day 1: A small group again. By design. Gone forever are the days of almost 30 people rolling out of my driveway. Not my monkeys, not my circus. McArdle & bc wisely asked a few local dudes to roll with us to breakfast again. It’s awesome to share the excitement and workload for the first 35 or so miles. Once we get our bellies full at Alma’s, we say our goodbyes to the morning guys and drop the Space Shuttle booster rockets to continue our journey unaided. Speaking of “unaided”, Blake continued his tradition of giving us a terrible lead out, then tapping out a mile into it…

    Obviously, not all of the Windy traditions need changing. Alma’s has become our go-to for Day 1 breakfast for years, and it would be hard to top their food and hospitality. Most riders fuel up a little before launch from my house (or their house), and then have the perfect amount of hangry 35 miles later. We crush gallons of coffee and mountains of egg sammiches and then begin the first of many eat-then-climb segments in our too-tight pants.

    The Windy 500 is about 2 things: riding bikes all day long, over a long weekend, and spending time with friends I love and respect. Everything else is just details. Every year has always had some of those 2 things, but definitely not always in the right amounts. 2022 was finally just right. No stress, no drama, no rules. In fact, we didn’t even hit 500 miles, but no one cared. The Windy has now chalked up 6,0561/3 miles (so we still have 561/3 miles of cushion). We’ve also racked up 144,691 feet (27.4 vertical miles) of climbing, which puts us just shy of scaling Mt. Everest 5 times from sea level. It’s been a hell of a ride so far, literally, but there is nothing left to prove to anyone. I think that concept finally sank in this year (for me).

    As much as my romantic vision of Year One was about adventure, it was also about the insanity of it. I took great pride in explaining to someone that does not ride bikes or maybe rides 3 miles on an old Schwinn once every 5 years, that we left Milwaukee yesterday, and we’re in Iron Mountain, Michigan today. I proudly wore that badge of honor/nut-baggery for all to see. It meant something to ME, even though I now realize that it meant nothing to anyone else. I had something to prove… to someone. So, in some years, we collectively challenged ourselves to go faster. To climb more. To bury the weak. And we did.

    And it meant nothing to anyone. But it did alienate people, and make them wish they hadn’t chosen this stupid adventure. And for that, I’m sorry. I now realize that the Windy started as a way for me to exorcise some personal demons. To prove myself to no one but myself.

    Thankfully though, this year seemed to start on a lighter note for me. Lighter physically, literally, since my broken jaw had been wired shut for 2 months until just before we rolled out. I hadn’t been able to eat, or breathe through my mouth for the entire Summer and had lost a lot of weight. But mentally, I felt like something was changing too.

    This year I really enjoyed the ride. From the front, the middle, and the back of the pack. And I had nothing to prove. I was in great shape: too thin (30 pounds lighter than my COVID high), and ready to race the 153-mile Gravel Worlds on my singlespeed 2 weeks later. I didn’t need to turn myself inside out, proving how fast we could paceline to the hotel. I didn’t need to catch Bill Davis all the way from the back of the pack as he jammed up the biggest climb of the weekend. And so, as I passed everyone and got to within striking distance I finally realized the stupidity of what I was doing. So I backed off a bit and followed his lead over the top. Could I have caught him? Who needed to know? No one. Who cared if I could? No one. Not even me. And that’s when things finally clicked for me. We all rode together this year through some of the most beautiful roads we’ve seen over the past 12 years. The scenery was spectacular, and I enjoyed every second of it.

    FYI: McKinney is very picky. He likes “American Food”.

    Day 2: While some awoke feeling well-rested, others were still a little tired from our sleeping arrangements. I was in a top bunk on the second floor. The tiny sheets didn’t really fit the tiny mattress, and the summer heat and lack of airflow that high up made me consider sleeping in a nice, cool dumpster somewhere for night two. Meanwhile, the A/C in the basement was blasting harder than AC/DC in a ’76 Camaro. We had to open the freezer doors to warm the room up. Breakfast was whatever we had in the kitchen, followed by whatever they had at the Kwik Trip a few miles away.

    From there we rolled out and found some more beautiful roads and scenery and even a little gravel.

    For reasons we may never know, the day and the route seemed to really stretch us out. Maybe it was the crappy night’s sleep, or maybe we’re just too old for this. Every minute on the bikes was great, but you could feel the energy leaving the group as the day went on. The route we had picked gave us just about a Century – with options. One of those options was the spectacular outdoor pool (a Windy first), and without hesitation we all chose it. Our day ended far short of the normal 125 miles, and no one cared.

    OK, maybe it wasn’t spectacular by “pool snob” standards, but it was definitely spectacular by sweaty, tired, middle-aged dudes’ standards. Note – adding “outdoor pool” to the 2023+ mandatory items list.

    Once everyone dried off and cleaned up, we walked the 4 or so blocks to downtown Wisconsin Dells for another mandatory item: Mexican Food. We were shocked to find that the hottest item on the menu that night was the birthday boy – Bill Finn!

    Our lovely waiter took a fancy to Mr. Finn, offering him a personalized Birthday greeting with optional personal contact information hidden on the backside… And yes, I just said “backside”.

    Sadly, Mr. Finn went home with the exact same number of men he had arrived with.

    Day 3, the dreaded shit-storm day: Just like Celine Dion’s heart will continue to go on, it WILL rain on the Windy. And, on Sunday, rain it did.

    But, that’s just part of the ride – so we rolled out into it.

    Apparently, Bill even found a place to wash his hands.

    Doin’ work.

    We enjoyed some of the finest gourmet race fuel any Kwik Trips had to offer during the day each day:

    At night, more walking and eating. More route planning and chatting. More laughing. And less stress.

    Day 4: Heading home. Aside from really bad headaches that lingered after my broken jaw had healed, the ride went off without a hitch.

    For the group – a couple of flats, no major mechanicals, no distress calls. In fact, no real hiccups at all. And the best part of all of it was the absolute “unplanning” that occurred each day. Stop when we stop. Go when we go. Take it all in. “Sop it up” as Lampe would say.

    Arrivée

    Then it stops. We hug and begin to assemble our things, and the world begins to seem still and lonely and odd. Eventually, all of the cars cluttering my driveway for the past 4 days drive away – inevitably leaving random tubes or pumps or gloves in my garage, and the world is quiet. We all go our separate ways and melt back into the real world. Work the next day is a barrage of random text messages that no one else would understand but manage to make everyone in our group chuckle:

    “Mechanical!”

    “Stopping.”

    “Natural”

    “Pop Tart!”

    And the planning for next year begins...

  • 2021 Windy 500 wrap up

    2021 Windy 500 wrap up


    “Die first. Then you can go about the business of living.” ~ Ekhart Tolle

    Well, here we are. Year 11. The Annual Ride of Stupidity. In the books. The riding was great, and the weather was great (except when it wasn’t). The group was great – good size, great guys. The new Door County route was amazing. So why was this year so boring to me?

    I’ve waited a few months now to let the memories and feelings really sink in. After riding 5,613 total miles and climbing 25 miles (131,515 feet) above the earth’s surface (into the virtual mesosphere), I’ve become bored. 44 days of riding at least 100 miles a day, in Wisconsin, in August, and I can do it in my sleep.

    For those who haven’t been there every year, I would certainly hope that it’s still interesting. Especially for those who have only 1 or 2 trips in them. On paper, this journey is amazing. And mostly because of all of the work that goes into it before we roll a single mile. Chris McArdle and Brien Christopherson literally spend 365 days a year planning and organizing. The next year’s strategizing starts the second we roll into my driveway. We eat amazing food, sometimes in the middle of nowhere. We stay in awesome hotels (usually). The quality and caliber of men that do this ride are really second to none. It’s hard to point to any negatives at all. But, sometimes too much of a good thing is still too much. Kind of like Midwesterners going to see the ocean – it’s awe-inspiring. Unless you grew up living on the ocean, then it’s normal – boring even. Same thing. The ride is a spectacular event, and I’ll do it until I die. But, as in years past, it needs some changes to keep it fascinating. So for 2022, there will be changes.

    But first, 2021:

    Our mandatory rollout with Captain Crocs once again doing lead-out duty. Hard to believe that Blake was only 2 years old in Year #1.

    The right amount of riders makes a big difference. In years past, we’ve had close to 30 guys and it becomes a real challenge to roll out smoothly on Day 1. This was by design a smaller group and by far the smoothest rollout ever. It was also the fastest Windy day on record, averaging 20.1mph over the first 133 miles to Green Bay.

    Fluid Truck provided our SAG wagon this year. A brand new Dodge cargo van, which made the journey so much better. And with 2 dedicated SAG drivers, anything we needed was always 50 yards away. One thing we didn’t need? Pabst Blue Ribbon Black. The worst beer ever brewed.

    And away we go!

    Rolling out of Brookfield in nearly perfect conditions.

    On to Alma’s, our traditional Stop #1. Egg-cellent sammiches, followed by a PBR or two to motivate us up the hill that leads out of town. Nothing like tight-fitting lycra after cramming your gut full of potatoes!

    No one ever has any fun on the Windy.

    Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’…

    Perfect temps and a tailwind all day.

    Pro Tip: An easy way to meet new people is to park in front of their house in the country and lay on their lawn…

    More riding in the sunshine, and finally – MEXICAN FOOD (that didn’t take long). Mr. Taco/Gloria’s did not disappoint. I picked up a staple in the road about 2 blocks away, rolling in on the only flat tire of the day. Or were there 2? Flats were fairly minimal this year, except for me. I had 3: a staple, a piece of glass, and a sharp rock while flying down a gravel road.

    A Mexican restaurant, in the middle of Nowhere, WI, with delicious, authentic food and drink.
    Reminder – there is no fun to be had on the Windy.

    Onward and upward. Green Bay was base camp this year, and we made it there in record time.

    Our Chalet for the weekend.
    …and this is why we can’t have nice things.

    Moving on…

    Friday is the new Saturday? Friday brought us an entirely new route: East to Door County, then North, and a big loop back home. By far the best route of the weekend.

    Did I mention that PBR Black is the Devil’s child?
    I somehow managed to average almost 500 watts… Seems highly accurate.

    So far, so good. The threat of rain every day hasn’t produced any so far and the routes have been perfect for keeping a mixed group of riders together. Rolling along at 20-22 on the flats made for a great day in the saddle.

    Saturday was the first-ever “off day”. A concept we’ve thought about since the early days. The original thought was to get an Air BNB or VRBO on a lake and spend the day swimming, fishing, grilling, whatever. Tough to find a spot that sleeps X-teen guys comfortably though, so we opted for Plan B. Late rollout, shorts and T-shirts, and a total of fewer than 20 miles of “recovery” riding between spots of interest in and around Green Bay.

    Overall, the concept was a hit. Riding 4 back-to-back Centuries+ can take a toll on the (old) bodies and minds, especially when the pace gets quicker or the hills get more plentiful. Most guys seemed to appreciate the recovery day, but almost everyone would have preferred a “real” recovery ride in the morning and then chill time off the bikes after lunch. The ride we did on Saturday was more like a 1-day fun ride that we’d do around Milwaukee.

    Started with a quick trip over to L-L-L-Lambeau! I think Dave has to fart.
    Followed by an even shorter trip to the first Brewery.
    What should we talk about?
    Do you think that an individual born to parents with low intelligence can develop an IQ higher than his/her parents? Explain your answer.
    So… this happened. Insert your own caption here. Yes, that’s a cat.
    SPD tennis shoes? Nope. The rain finally came out to greet us on Saturday. Just a teaser of what we’d face on Monday.
    bc and I decided to crash a random pizza party. I thought the guy behind me had the new Bontrager TT helmet on, turns out it was just a really bad hairpiece. And American Flag Lady was shitfaced.
    M. F. Fred!!! SAG driver #2 for the weekend, and one of the best guys on Earth. Found on the 2020 Windy. Now a part of history.

    On to La Nostra Strada Pizzeria. The BEST pizza on Earth. Whatever, fight me. You can’t change facts. Andy Krans, an old friend of mine, and now everyone’s, is the mastermind behind this place. The pizza is amazing and the staff is equally amazing. Do yourself a favor a drive there right now. We tipped so heavily that the cook made a TikTok video of the cash.

    Reetz practicing his recumbent posture for a few years down the road.

    Later that evening we (me) chose to order appetizers for everyone. Chicharrones. And when I say everyone, I mean the population of Earth. Lutz’s order came stamped with a time/date tattoo. Here’s bc forcing me to eat 1/1,000,000th of the order:

    Chicharrones are good. In moderation…

    Also, Wanda’s senior crush had another birthday. The waitstaff brought out a cake made of Centrum Silver and tears:

    From there it was back to business as usual. Sunday meant a trip to Da U.P. Now that you know the best pizza joint in the world, let me introduce you to the best Mexican food in the world…

    But first, bakery…

    And also, this:

    When confronted with a downed tree from the storm the night before, our brave lycra-clad men wearing cleated shoes tackled it with the bravado of a group of Karens at a LuLu Lemon sale… “We’ll have to go a different way!”

    Now, where was I? Oh yes, killer Mexican food. This:

    The food alone makes all the miles more than worth it.

    Back to Wisconsin, and back to the birthplace of bc:

    May I introduce you to the coolest little town on the map: “Shitasskiville”

    After that, more bikes and beers and awesomeness. As usual. And very mild weather. Until it wasn’t. At the last beer stop, Mother Nature decided that it was time to stop F-ing around. With a little over 10 miles to go, the skies turned black and we began to ride angry for the last bit of the day. While the first group left when bc called for it, half of the group was still inside the brewery and never heard the warning shots. As much as I loved the 28mph paceline coming into Green Bay, I felt like a fat turd when the second half of the crew rolled in 10 minutes later, completely soaked by the thunderstorm.

    Speaking of thunderstorms… Day 4 (5). Never Have I Ever – ridden for 11 hours straight in driving rain. No, wait… I HAVE.

    From the Lands End Fall catalog…
    From the “Hey, you got a dollar I can have??” Fall catalog

    So, there’s rain and then there’s RAIN. Almost 11 hours of relentless headwinds and driving rain. From Green Bay all the way to Brookfield. 134 miles – 10:41:50. The same route that took 6:35:43 of moving time on the previous Thursday going North, took what seemed like a month and a half on the way home. If I had to do it all over again, I’d skip that day. 100%.

    And…home! Always bittersweet. Good to be back, but sad that the journey ends for another year.

    And finally… some random shots to round out the adventure:

    I love this ride. I love these guys. You all make my life better.

    Until next year!

  • 2021 Windy 500 dates/routes/details…

    2021 Windy 500 dates/routes/details…


    All,

    2021 will be the 11th running of the Windy (10th anniversary). After the 2019 edition, I had grand dreams of making the 2020 version into something huge. As it turns out, that is what spoiled the magic in the first place. 2020 ended up being (because of COVID) one of the smallest groups of riders AND one of the top 3 best rides of all time.

    (Lack of) planning is what made the first-ever year the gold standard. We had a mission (idea), 3 planned hotel stops, and UPS boxes en route to all 3. Aside from that, any “planning” that happened prior to launch was subject to change and/or ridicule. No SAG or support, a route that was all but abandoned 75 miles in, and 4 guys with no clue what they were doing. It was spectacular!

    Over the years, the ride has grown and grown. Roughly 50 (?) different riders have taken part. Some just once, some two or three times, and others lots more. Mark Lampe has participated in every ride since 2011, bc has been there since the year 2012, but only Chris McArdle and I have covered all 5,089 Windy miles together.

    Over the years, the ride grew by word of mouth and at some point, it just got too big. It became more of a guided tour. It’s easy for a handful of dudes to roll into the Town of Nowhere and get an “on-demand” burger and a beer for lunch. It’s nearly impossible with 28 guys unless you have a few hours to spare. Chris and bc spent hours upon hours designing routes and stops because there were “so many people” (an ode to Chris), it became a part-time job to plan and then execute the ride.

    In 2019, we came up with the bright idea of limiting the riders to a specific number by using a scoring method. Yeah – that was stupid. ‘Nuff said.

    2020 was wide open, and then COVID hit. I had intended to do a “Windy 1,000” for the tenth year. After COVID, we split it into 2 separate 500-mile routes. Yeah – that was stupid. ‘Nuff said.

    The Windy 500 will always be the Windy 500. There were a few rules (guidelines really) that we used initially. After a few years, it became clear that spending a few days riding all day with friends and covering (+/-) 500 miles was spectacular. No rules or guidelines needed. This brings us to 2021…

    For the 11th ride/10th anniversary, we are still discussing the details. What we do know is:

    • The ride will be 500 miles. Ish. Not 1,000. Ish.
    • The ride will take 5 days. Thursday, August 5 to Monday, August 9. This year, we will be enjoying a celebratory 5-day timeframe with a first-time-ever Saturday “rest day”. Hanging out somewhere all day; swimming, beers, jamming tunes, recovering, grilling out, bonfire and bourbon.

    • Limiting riders to 18-ish. Simply the first dudes with deposits in will ride. Judgment free zone.
    • Rolling hills, no pride-busting Categorized climbs.
    • Probably headed North. Looking to do an Airbnb on a lake for the turn-around day.

    More to follow. But if you know, you know. Find the link, pay the deposit, you’re in. There are a few dudes who’ve never done it that would be fantastic to ride with. There are a butt-ton of veterans who’d be awesome to ride next to. Don’t get left behind.

  • 2020 Windy 500 Wrap-up

    2020 Windy 500 Wrap-up


    This is what 51 years old looks like.

    More specifically, this is what it looks like at the halfway point of this year’s ride, with 2 days, 260 miles, and 11,000+ feet of climbing in.

    In fact, this is exactly what 51 looks like after the tenth year of this ride.

    5,089 total miles. So far.

    That’s roughly Milwaukee to Los Angeles, then back to Milwaukee, then back to Los Angeles…

    123,162 total feet of climbing (23.3 vertical miles). So far.

    That’s the equivalent of Felix Baumgartner’s jump from space back to Earth – but going straight up, not down. Or climbing all 42 floors of the US Bank Center, the tallest building in Milwaukee…

    205 times.

    This is what this year’s crew looks like, including the breakfast crew and Johnny Croc, our lead-out man:

    Let’s face it, 2020 might go down as one of the shittiest years ever in our lives. But this ride might be the only “normal” thing right now, and there was no way I was cancelling.

    Ten years after dreaming this up, it’s just a part of life now. For me, and everyone that continues to make it happen. So it had to happen this year.

    Day 1

    It was weird having such a small crew. Weird, but really good. We normally roll out about 30 strong, including a few dudes that just roll to breakfast with us that first day. We normally have a full-sized Sprinter van, loaded down with bags, bikes, wheelsets, beer, you name it. This time, it was just an SUV with our gear and the bare essentials.

    Weather was spectacular, the rollout was uneventful. Unlike having a giant peloton, we quickly found our rhythm this year, and it was on.

    Just outside Beaver Dam (home of the Golden Beavers…), bc flatted (1 of only 3 flats on the entire ride) and we rolled into a driveway to get out of traffic. As soon as we stopped, out walks Fred Kaping. Retired Navy Vet, realtor, jack of all trades, and phenomenal home brewer! We offer PBR as payment for blocking his driveway, he returns the favor with Fred Brew – a deliciously smooth 14% ABV homebrew.

    THIS is what the Windy 500 is all about. Random acts of kindness. Meeting new people and seeing new things you’d NEVER otherwise experience. We all roll out from Fred’s agreeing that his grandkids are some of the luckiest kids on Earth.

    From there, it was a fairly regular roll the rest of the way to our home away from home for the weekend, the Spring Valley Inn. If regular includes a “biker” in a leather vest and boots on an E-bike playing Pantera through his phone…

    We did what we always do, offered him a PBR, and listened to his stories.

    Then food, drinks, fire & bed.

    Day 2:

    Rolling hills are supposed to be rolly… Right?

    We had some beautiful scenery and some modest climbs, but apparently, Chris thought the best birthday present of all for me (and all of us) was a kick in the nuts:

    6,300 ft of climbing with (7) Category 4 climbs. Really? And no receipt with this gift, so I couldn’t even return it. Asshole.

    Fast forward to Saturday night – where a bunch of very tired riders enjoyed a delightful 5-star meal of deep-fried fat under the too-bright fluorescent lobby lights of the hotel.

    Without Janisch, we all had pizza AND wings!

    Day 3:

    Another long day in the saddle, but nowhere near the soul-sucking climbing of the day before. Tapped out the day at an easy pace, dodging a few raindrops and falling temps along the way.

    What would the Windy be without Mother Nature imposing her will??

    More bike riding, PBR stops, etc., etc., etc…

    Day 4:

    Locked and loaded for the trip back home. Could not have done it with the Brothers Sag – Nick and Jon. You guys are AWESOME. Thank you so much.

    That one time when Dino forgot he wasn’t at ToAD…

    Finally some Mexican!!!! Beef tongue with habanero sauce. Least calories consumed ever on this year’s ride, but I still managed to gain 6 pounds??

    We’re all getting older, but I’ll do this until I die. It’s become such a part of me, that I can’t imagine NOT doing it.

    The beauty of the Windy 500 is not the ride. It’s not the “500 miles in 4 days”, although that’s always fun to tell people – especially non-cyclists. That’s just the road map. The true joy is the journey – all the moments in-between. There have been countless memories over the past 10 years. Sure, a few of them involve Mt Kickintheballs Hill, and wanting to heave up your spleen, but almost all of them have nothing to do with bicycles.

    For me, this was never about riding bikes. It was about adventure. It was about people. And the ride has never disappointed. Yes, some years have been better than others, but after 10 years I wouldn’t change much.

    I can’t wait until next year, and I can’t thank every single friend who’s ridden next to me enough for all of these memories.

    You guys are the best.

    See you in 2021.

     

  • Another canti to disc conversion…

    Another canti to disc conversion…


    Just like my FrankenBike,

    The Fetish has been many things, and can do all things:

    Beauty…

    Beast.

    But it’s never been a disc-equipped rig. Until sometime between now and later:

    Goodbye cantilevers…

    Winter project – complete tear apart, sand, file, obsess, re-paint, rebuild…

    Progress is slow and painful…

    To be continued…

    After what seemed like an eternity (the 2020 riding season), I’ve finally gotten back to this project. Hoping to now have it built up in time for a ride in 2 weeks…

    Canti bosses are gone. Not a perfect surface, but I didn’t want to compromise the metal. Good enough to get going.

    Finally gave up on trying to sandblast the hardened paint off of aluminum and had the frame acid dipped. Now she’s RAW like Monday Night. Paint is next.

    That looks REAL nice Clark… Real Nice. Now you just need some pieces/parts.

    And finally, this:

  • Reflections on the 20 year anniversary of my death

    Reflections on the 20 year anniversary of my death


    On August 17, 1999, I was run over by a van.

    I was on a motorcycle doing about 50 mph, and then I was on the ground in a pool of blood doing 0 mph. My femur was sticking through my leg, my hip was shattered and I was bleeding to death in the middle of a 3-lane highway.

    It’s been 20 years, so I was feeling nostalgic a few nights ago and I pulled out the old manila folder full of “stuff” from the accident: photos, police reports, mountains of medical bills, and a thank-you letter that I had written after the accident. The letter was what I was after.

    I have almost no recollection of what actually happened in the few minutes after I saw a van pull into my lane and I hit the brakes. I remember laying down and feeling wet (blood). I remember hearing sirens and then I remember seeing the hospital ceiling lights flashing past my eyes as my gurney was wheeled down a hallway. Then 3 days of mostly morphine-induced stupor. Most of my “memories” are pieced together from what I read in my own drug-permeated, fog-filled police reports, and stories I heard after the fact. The thank-you letter was my way of telling everyone what happened at once, rather than 1,000 times over and over, and also thanking the people that helped me through everything. The thank-yous were directed at the people closest to me; my wife, my Mom, a few good friends, and then there was a stranger I thanked named Tim Stalbaum.

    So, because it’s 2019,  and I can, I Googled “Tim Stalbaum”, and this popped up:

    MOTORCYCLE RIDER HURT IN NORTHWEST WICHITA CRASH

    20 years later, the stranger that came to my rescue after I was in a life-threatening motorcycle accident, was in a life-threatening motorcycle accident in Kansas.

    I’ve searched for the word to describe it – it’s not ironic and it’s not coincidental, it’s weird, it’s eerie, and it sucks. I’m really not sure how to process the information either. If he was still in WI I’d visit him and we could ruminate on the coincidence.

    I wouldn’t wish my experience on my worst enemy, and certainly not on someone who selflessly helped a stranger the way he had. I hope and pray that he is able to recover the way I have, and someday he’ll have to pull out a dusty file to bring the memories back.

    2020 Update – this story did not end well. Tragically, Tim passed away on Feb 3, 2020:

    https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/wichita-ks/timothy-stalbaum-9029968

  • 2019 Windy 500 wrap-up

    2019 Windy 500 wrap-up


    511 miles.

    10,613 ft of elevation.

    4 days of awesome.

    That’s the facts. Now the fluff…

    The Windy 500 (AKA: “The Windy”) is now 9 years old. In total, we’ve covered 4,594 miles (New York to Los Angeles and back) and climbed 105,704 feet (20+ miles straight up). For reference, the “Death Zone” begins at about  26,246 feet above sea level. At that elevation, unassisted from compressed air or oxygen, severe altitude sickness sets in, debilitating the human body and eventually resulting in death. I have certainly felt like death at the top of some of those climbs over the years… and we’ve gone 4 times the Death Zone height in total.

    2019 finally marked the “return to form” (credit to bc for that term) for this adventure. For the past few years, the vibe of the ride has been “off”. For me, this is a mental checkout, an escape from the pressures and responsibilities of daily life: being a Dad, a husband, a breadwinner, a home remodeler, a boss, etc. Just my chance to do physical work all day long and then chill with friends at night. Then get up and do it again. No spreadsheets, no sports schedules, no meetings, no homework, no bills to pay… just pure work. And all of that pure work leads (me) to internal purity. Which leaves me with serenity, joy, strength, harmony, happiness, patience and magnanimity. Or it should.

    For me, and a few others, the last few years have lacked that reward. This trip had become an organized Tour – more about the rest stops and KOMs than the journey. We ground people to dust with big dick contests on legit Category 3 climbs, and we raced to hotels to end the rides faster and faster each day. We yelled at each other to “Hold our lines!” and “Ride two up!” We took guys who normally ride at 16 mph and asked them to hold a wheel at 24 mph.  And we were genuinely pissed when they couldn’t. And we called it a “vacation”.

    This was not the ride that many of us needed anymore. To use a Lampe term, it had been “Kayzared”. You take something really good and turn it up to 11. Until it sucks. Oh, and to make matters even worse, I sent out invitations this year. Yeah. So, some people were not invited. Because I’m super cool. And I had to pick and choose people based on bullshit criteria because I had invited everyone I knew, which made the ride too big and unmanageable. Now I was barely looking forward to riding because I had pissed friends off, the ride sucks, and life was way too busy this year to even take 4 days away. I was feeling uber magnanimous indeed. And also like the world’s biggest fraud.

    Fast forward to August 2. The day after my 50th birthday. The launch of the 9th Windy 500. I was excited, but my expectations were low.

    Fewer of us than last year, by design. An almost on-time launch. Zero drama. All smiles. Things felt different already.

    After a much shorter than usual amount of time, the group fell into a smooth rhythm. By the time we had crushed another delicious all-you-can-eat Alma’s breakfast, we were functioning like 1 unit.

    We spent time on roads that were very familiar and roads that we had never seen before. McArdle, our perennial RouteMeister, never disappoints and this year was no exception. Roads were rolling, beautiful and virtually traffic-free.
      

    bc treated us to his usual round of surprises and delights by piloting us to the only authentic Mexican place within 100 miles, after lowering the bar by announcing that we’d be eating at fast food joints that day.

    We made our way to the 1 and only hotel stop – a first for the Windy. Green Bay became our hub for 3 nights, which was a welcome change from schlepping bags of dirty kits back into the van every morning. From GB we rolled West into Central WI, North to the UP and finally back to Brookfield.

    The pictures always tell the story better than words ever could. Suffice to say, the Windy is alive and well. We came, we saw, we made friends with retirees and biker gangs… and we were serenaded by the always entertaining Bill Finn. We received cake and medals to keep us safe, and smiles and warm hospitality everywhere we went. Except when we went past the laundromat. Do not go past the laundromat.

    And suddenly, it’s over.  Everyone says their goodbyes and we wake up in our own beds the next day and go to work and start thinking about next year.

    I can’t describe what this event has become to me, for me. I can’t describe the level of gratitude I have for everyone that has participated over the years. This has truly become far greater than I had ever hoped, despite my best efforts to screw it up over the years. The funny thing is, everyone always remembers the Windy differently. And that’s OK. Everyone is free to pick and choose their own highlights, their own greatest roads or their favorite conversations. I am humbled to have created the vehicle to provide those memories.

    The only way to make it better for the upcoming 10th Anniversary in 2020 is to make it 1,000 miles… and so we will.

  • 2018 Windy 500 wrap-up

    2018 Windy 500 wrap-up


    509 miles this year makes it 4,083 total Windy 500 miles ridden for me so far. That’s the equivalent of a round-trip ride from Toronto, Canada to the Gulf of Mexico and back. For the rest of you Pop Tarts, your total Windy mileage ranges somewhere between 4,083 (McArdle) & 509 (everyone else). What matters most though is not the mileage, it’s the adventure.

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    This year, as with every year, the ride rolled from my house. Day 1 is a mix of veterans and newbies, well-wishers and tag-alongs who roll to the first stop with us and then head home.  It usually takes a few hours after we roll out to find our rhythm. Some are better than others at riding 2 up in big groups. Those who’ve raced are comfortable on someone’s wheel at 30 mph, riding shoulder to shoulder. That type of confidence makes for very smooth, safe, confident riding. Others, not so much. This group is a mixed bag of experience and ability, so for some, it’s a bit of a crash course in technique (without the actual crash part). Eventually, people figure it out, and we do our best to ride as one unit for the next 3 1/2 days.

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    Day 1, stop 1, ALMA’S Cafe in Allenton. They’ve treated us way too well over the years, and after 35-40 miles of riding on fumes, their breakfast sandwiches are better than peanut butter dipped in peanut butter.

    Our favorite stop is always Kwik Trip, because… it’s Kwik Trip:

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    I would not recommend human consumption of ice purchased at Kwik Trip. Just sayin’.

    Eventually, the hills find us:

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    We ride all day, and nights are dinners and renewing friendships.

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    Mornings are van loading and slowly rolling out of whatever parking lot we have taken over.

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    It’s riding, chatting, working, recovering and most of all, making memories that will last a lifetime:

    Geez Janisch, lighten up and enjoy yourself!

    “No one is dumb who is curious. The people who don’t ask questions remain clueless throughout their lives.” ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

    As always, if you weren’t there, you’ll never know.

    The Windy 500 is just a bike ride, but it changes you, makes you better. The hardest day for me is always Day 5. The day when I wake up and shower and put on people clothes and drive to work and sit down at my desk. And I don’t pedal. Not once. And I don’t climb. And I don’t descend, screaming into a valley, tucked into my handlebars at 54, 55, 56 mph, with 5 guys right next to me, all doing the same, all smiling, ear to ear. I just sit.

    **********************************************************************************

    It has taken me quite a while to sit down and compose my thoughts about this year’s ride. The Windy 500 has become an extremely important part of my life, and I generally start planning the next ride when we roll into my driveway on Day 4. During the ride, we discuss ways to improve the experience, and I arrive home with scraps of hotel paper and bar napkins with random thoughts and ideas scribbled down on them. This year, I rolled into my driveway alone. And it was over. I showered up and sat down to a home-cooked meal with my wife and kids.  The rest of the group rolled on to Wauwatosa to celebrate Bill Finn’s birthday. I had developed some kind of sinus cold on Day 2 and once I cleaned up I was done for the day. And I didn’t think about next year’s ride until a few days later.

    For 4 days on the ride, I control what I do. I control my time, my efforts, my thoughts. Well, maybe not my thoughts. But I really don’t think about manipulating Excel spreadsheets much. Or my mortgage. Or yard work. I just think about riding. And talking to my close friends. Mostly about nothing. Locker room talk and juvenile jokes. But sometimes it’s about really important stuff. Really deep stuff. The kind of stuff you can talk about when there’s nothing to do all day but move your legs in hundreds of thousands of circles.

    That’s my Windy 500. I work really hard at times, not so hard at other times. I wake up, grab some coffee and wait for the hotel’s breakfast to fire up. Then I get ready and I ride. All day. For 4 days. It’s as pure as it gets.

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    But this was Year 8, and I’ve done this before. 7 times before. And it was an adventure. A long time ago. In fact, I heard some of the guys who weren’t there in those early years telling the stories, and they even got some of it right.

    Every year, somewhere along the route, people will ask:

    “What are you riding for?”

    I was recently reminded of this by my friend Dr. Long, and it stuck in my head like glue. The Windy 500 has become an event without a purpose. Without a True North. Why indeed? 

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    Do you know what homogenized milk is, Billy? It’s bland Billy. Bland. And the Windy is pretty well homogenized. We eat in fancy restaurants and we have name tags, Billy. Name tags!

    img_6692-4x6Don’t know how to change a tire Jimmy? It’s OK, we bring lots of extra wheels! img_1107And at the end of your long day, you get to swim and relax with other busy execs!img_1192

    Meh. I think it’s time to shake it up again.

    Don’t get me wrong – this ride is still SUPER awesome. The route, the riders, the endless miles in the saddle. But it’s become so big, such an event, that it’s not what it was originally intended to be. For me.

    For many of the other guys that did the ride this year, and for those who have done it in past years, maybe it’s exactly what they want it to be. But the ride is at an intersection, and for Year 9, 2019, I need more. Or maybe less.

    Here’s the complete list of rules for the original Windy 500, back from 2011:

    1. You must ride a bike 500+ miles in 4 days
    2. You must ride in at least 2 states

    Unfortunately, the rules have been amended over the years to include:

    1. Hotels must have pools. And hot tubs.
    2.  Support vehicle must be stocked with refreshments, spare wheels, spare bikes, (maybe spare riders next year?)
    3. Rest stops can take as long as the anyone wants them to.
    4. Anyone can make up rules as we go…

    I realize that this is not just my ride anymore. Heck, I’m barely even responsible for it now. And don’t get me wrong, I like the pools. I look forward to cooling down after the ride. But the sense of adventure that launched this journey is long gone. So 2019’s route will have 2 fully supported options:

    Group 1: 

    Faster guys, stronger climbers, fewer stops. NOT race pace, but it will be challenging.

    Group 2:

    Casual pace. Riders will re-group at the tops of climbs. More frequent rest stops. This group will most likely leave 1/2 hour prior to Group 1. Both Groups will meet at the lunch stop and at the hotel. No need for the faster guys to feel held back and no need for the more casual guys to turn themselves inside out. And having 2 smaller groups will do wonders for safety.

    That’s all. We’ll probably go West again. The route is really beautiful and certainly challenging. And everyone is welcome back.

    Oh, and to answer the question “What are you riding for?”  I defer to McArdle’s answer:

    “AWESOMENESS.”

  • 38 days until the 8th Annual Windy 500…


  • Windy 500 2017 wrap-up

    Windy 500 2017 wrap-up


    Yeah, that just happened. The Windy 500 just became the most spectacular thing ever. And you weren’t there.

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    It was Sofa King awesome, that it may never eclipse itself. Like Leo Sayer singing with Barry Gibb AND Justin Timberlake. Or donut wrapped hot dogs. It was that good. We may as well all put on some Nikes, cover ourselves in purple sheets and drink some Kool-Aid now…

    I usually get right to the point, but I honestly don’t even know where to start this year. This was by far, the best and the most challenging time I have ever spent on a bike. We have hundreds of pictures, and it’s hard not to include all of them…

    For 7 years we’ve ridden. Iron Mountain, Michigan and 545 miles the first year. 45 extra miles because we were lost. A lot. 105 degrees. Rain. 4 riders. 162 miles on Day 1 at almost 20mph average speed. No sag. Epic. Me, McArdle, Lampe and Gary Johnson. A proper beat-down, the likes of which may never be duplicated. Upon arrival, just after dark, the hotel staff hands us a small box that we UPSed there. A new kit and disposable toothbrushes for everyone. Yay! McArdle and Lampe are the only 2 to have done this every year, and McArdle is the only one who’s matched me mile for mile for the past 3,574 miles. Last year our cumulative mileage surpassed “The Ultralineamentum” – the longest possible route across the US – my initial dream/goal in this stupid plan.

    Year 2: 7 guys, we decided to go West. Winona. Hills, hills and more hills. 500-something miles and 17,000+ feet of climbing. Jeremy drove his own truck for sag. Holy crap, we could actually pack a bag this time. Jeremy (aka: TRJ , aka: The Real Jeremy – ask Balden) met up with us every 25 miles or so. He thought we were nuts.

    Year 3: This was the Van Halen III year – great compared to sitting at a desk, but shitty compared to the original ride. 9 riders, southern route. “Southern” was Illinois to Indiana and back. Flat, urban, and full of debris. Ridiculous number of flats, a zero score for scenery and fairly forgettable.  Still, we spent 4 days riding 500+ miles, so it wasn’t all bad. Jeremy on sag again, this time rolling right behind us the whole route. Still thinking we were nuts, but now “bike-curious”.

    4: Escanaba, MI. Fantastic Mexican food, awesome route and full blown sag support. Jeremy jumps on a bike this year and becomes a legit rider. DuWayne (TRJ Sr.) takes the helm as all-time sag driver. 18mph average on a fairly flat route for 496 miles. Veterans bank their rollover miles from previous years while rookies do laps in every gas station to ensure the 500+ mark. Escanaba is a glorified shithole, but the route is a success. This thing is taking on a life of its own…

    5: Back to da U.P. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. 21 riders now up to Escanaba. Beer, Mexican, etc. It has rained every year to this point, we expect it to continue doing so long  after we are all dead.

    6: Escanaba again. 3rd year in a row. Bike practically rides itself along the route by now. It’s an awesome route for a big group, but becoming a bit vanilla. Biblical rain (again). Hail. Sun. Fun. Laughs. 27 guys. bc and McArdle have become co-Directeur Sportifs, and apparently from April through July they only work part-time at their real jobs. The “Windy” has reached legendary status. The world is divided into two halves; those who’ve done the Windy, and those who haven’t.

    Fall, 2016: Windy 500 2017 Planning session: Lampe’s firepit. Talking about Escanaba v4.0. Longing for the excitement of the early years. Lampe calls bullshit on a 4th year to MI. We all agree. You know what would be awesome? Some soul-crushing climbs and 55mph descents. Really riding. Not another charity ride. It was undeniable. It could not be undone.

    Windy 500, 2017, year 7 – Winona, Minnesota and back. 22, 23, 24, 22? riders. Picked up another rider on Saturday on his way home from 7 days of RAGBRAI, lost one the same day to Volmonia, a new communicable disease that is apparently contracted from staying in shithole hotels.  18,500+ feet of climbing this year. But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.

    I contacted Pabst before the ride, and they hooked us up with some sweet swag and enough PBR to keep Jeremy hydrated for 4 days…

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    IMG_3927 IMG_10498 O’something a.m. Go time.  The mayor sends us off as usual. Reaches VO2 max on the first climb out of the subdivision and taps out. Maybe SPD Crocs for 2018?IMG_1713.JPG35 miles from my driveway to Alma’s again for the most spectacular breakfast on Earth. Riders may believe that this kind of stuff just happens, but bc and McArdle have toiled for weeks going over the finer points of logistics, including trial runs to Alma’s. Rookies are clueless.IMG_1706

    From there we rolled, fatter and happier, to Reedsburg. 136 miles. 5,000 feet of climbing. World’s worst hotel, The Voyageur. Don’t Google it, you’ll get some kind of disease just from looking at it. I’m not kidding. Most riders have checked in post-ride with some form of malady. All part of the adventure. I guess.

    You know it’s a classy hotel when you see wheelchairs and organs for sale in the lobby.IMG_1743So, who wants to ride to Winona, MN? Let’s roll.

    123 miles, another 5,000 feet of climbing. Seemed a lot harder than yesterday. Dozens of world-famous Bloedow’s Donuts were waiting for us upon arrival, laughs and even a little rest that night. By the way, the most spectacular weather ever. Mid-80s, sun and (I swear this is true) a tailwind for 500 miles. It has rained at least one day of the ride for the past 6 years straight. Rookies Dino, Janisch, Walls and Lex think this is the best thing since sliced bread. They have no idea that every year prior we’ve had to assume the tornado position at some point during the ride. Pop Tarts.

    IMG_4882Rolling into Winona, we were all just happy to be clear of the Mississippi, avoiding eye contact with Leach, fearing that he might kill again.

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    Sunday morning church service at 6:30am, courtesy of Dr. Long. This is a secret portion of the Windy that I really look forward to every year. Steve is an ordained Methodist minister and Professor of Theology. He offers it up to anyone who wants to participate. About 8 of us shared a private service, and it left me energized and focused on the task at hand. It also reminded me of how awesome this slice in time with this caliber of men was.

    Breakfast and some foreshadowing – the hills await. 6 monster climbs. Inclines as high as 17%. We all rolled out. A bit nervous, a bit excited. Road was flat, but we could see what was coming.

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    No way to avoid it. The first “hill” punched us in the throat. And by throat I mean balls. It officially qualifies as a Category 3 climb. Al Krueger now has the 5th fastest ascent (all-time) on Strava with an average speed of 9.1mph. Soul crushingly steep and long. We also climbed 2 Category 4s that same day. While I was praying for a swift death, I was reminded that it would be considered a relatively flat day in the Tour de France. Really glad I took the last year off of cycling… not.

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    By the end of the day, I think everyone was smoked. We rolled into Spring Green well-done and STARVING. It was the hardest day EVER on my bike, I would have cheerfully eaten any of the various roadkill we passed in the last 50 miles. 7pm. 8pm. 9pm.  FINALLY the pizza dude showed up. At that point – no one cared. We’d have eaten a dog turd or 10. Crap-ass pizza x 15. Thanks? I know that I ate (probably) an entire pizza in about 5 minutes. I hear that there were wings too, but they were set in front of Janisch and no one ever saw them again…

      I’m excited and exhausted simultaneously. bc takes the lead on getting the fire going, and we’re in the happiest place on Earth. Again.

    For the record, Ronnie James Dio once stayed at this hotel. He wants you to pull his finger.

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    Day 4: Rested, humbled, ready. Just 112 easy miles, only 3,000 feet uphill to go. No real climbs, just all rollers. I could go on and on, but honestly – you had to be there.

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    M.I.A. – Dave Volmmmmonia

    Did we have fun? We’ll never tell, but I’m guessing by the smiles that you already know the answer…

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    I think Jeremy McKinney’s second cousin Cat Stevens sang it best:

    And the cat’s in the river in the afternoon
    Jumped off the bridge just past that pontoon
    When’s it coming back, Leach?
    I don’t know when
    But we’ll be in Reedsburg then, yeah
    You know we’ll catch pneumonia then
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
    2018 – 8th annual – Back to Winona!
  • 2016 Windy 500 wrap-up

    2016 Windy 500 wrap-up


    AKA: 14.5 Reasons Riding Bikes 500 Miles Will Make You More Awesome

    The 2016 Windy 500 rolled out sort of  on-time on Friday, July 30th at 8:20am-ish, 27 strong.  Blake signed on again as our lead-out man.
    IMG_3314-EFFECTSWe would have left earlier if not for a mystery deuce or two.  No idea who was responsible, but I have my suspicions.

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    This ride is only a success because of the year-long pre-planning that goes into it, specifically from bc and McArdle.  Our first stop was breakfast at Alma’s in Allenton. We were treated to a hot and ready breakfast buffet that would have made your momma cry.  30 or so guys had even made a recon run up to the restaurant 2 weeks earlier to make sure they’d be ready for us.  Unbelievable.

    With bellies sufficiently full we rolled on, destined for more food and drink.  Most new guys scoffed at the fact that we all gain weight on this ride, yet post-ride scales generally register 5-6 pounds heavier (I was at almost +7).  Next stop – salted nut rolls and PBR.

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    Next stop – MEXICAN FOOD!  Roughly 80 miles in is the Oshkosh food stop.  We filled the outdoor seating area and watched a massive amount of planes flying in and out of the EAA.

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    Parking was somewhat of a premium.

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    A very different scenario from the 4 random, haggard, unsupported cyclists that found this gem 6 years earlier.  Hey, I think that’s the guy that took a big grumpy at my house before we left!

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    Alright, this is a bike ride after all.  According to Strava, we covered over 515 miles in 4 days.  We all stared at many a man-ass for hours at a time.  I try to block that part from my mind.

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    After 137.1 miles we enjoyed a late dinner at Titletown Brewery and crashed relatively early at the Hyatt like the ballers we are.

    Day 2 got us up and moving toward Escanaba.  We had a number of bonus stops to make, so we got right to it.  Random roadside bathroom breaks allowed Duwayne to pick up a hitch hiker destined for the border.  He liked our group so much that he stayed on for the whole trip.

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     There are only 3 guidelines for the Windy 500:

    1. Do not talk about Fight Club.
    2. Ride your a bike 500 miles
    3. Complete the ride in 4 days
    4. Cross a state line.

    Shortly after we cross into Michigan we stop at our favorite Mexican restaurant:

    La Cabaña 

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    If you haven’t been there, you suck and you should not be allowed to reproduce.

    Some day we may figure out that wearing the tightest clothes you have and eating until you can’t breathe, followed by riding bikes in the heat is a terrible idea, but I really hope we don’t.  So, 2 miles later we went to Freddy’s Grandma’s to eat the world’s largest chocolate chip cookies.

    Is that Deuce Bigelo?
    Is that Deuce Bigelo?

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    Next stop – Bruguglio’s.  Last year we had our only* crash. 2 minutes later the skies opened up and it started to pour.  We were taken in by the kindness of a family at their lake-side cabin, so we decided to stop by again this year and deliver some of those world record cookies.

    Jeremy Kazaks representing and Bill Costanza chillaxin'.
    Jeremy Kazaks representing and Bill Costanza chillaxin’.

    Day 2 – done.  116.6 miles.  Running total – 253.7 miles.  

     * yeah, so… crashes.  Only 1 “officially” in all Windy’s combined.  Unless you count the 3-4 solo (stone cold sober) parking lot crashes in 2016.  I can’t explain it.  First Aid was administered to boo-boos and we rolled.

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    Saturday night we stayed in the dumpiest dump of all, complete with Glade Plug-Ins and a cold-plunge pool that was once a functioning hot tub.  The town shuts down at sunset, so it was pizzas delivered to the conference/breakfast room for dinner.

    Escanaba - a nice place to... leave.
    Escanaba – a nice place to… leave.

    Early Sunday morning Dr. Long treated a group of us to a very moving outdoor service, while sporting a Ben’s Cycle shirt.  This year’s ride produced so many memorable things that it’s really hard to cram them all in, but this was definitely pretty high on the list.

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    Did I mention that we also rode bikes?  Blah, blah blah.

    IMG_3475

    Day 3, rolling, rolling rolling. Our longest day, 152.7 miles – running total 406.4 miles.  Unbelievable, spectacular, unicorns and rainbows weather.  82° and a tailwind.  We covered the first 100 miles like butter in a hot pan.

    Day 4 – home.  109 miles – 515.4 miles all in.

    IMG_3442

    We learned a lot along the way:

    If you want raw corn for breakfast at Burger King, you have to bring your own.
    If you want raw corn for breakfast at Burger King, you have to bring your own.

    Self explanatory.
    Self explanatory.

    There's a little Mexican in all of us.
    There’s a little Mexican in all of us.

    IMG_3472

    Really old people with narcolepsy can be a danger to themselves and others.
    Really old people with narcolepsy can be a danger to themselves and others.

    IMG_3425

    Helping someone change a flat is best done by sitting down and making fun of them.
    Helping someone change a flat is best done by sitting down and making fun of them.

    My friends are awesome. they can do anything.
    My friends are awesome. They can do anything.

    Did I mention that my friends are awesome?
    Did I mention that my friends are awesome?

    Lastly – don’t ever be the last guy to use the bathroom, or we’ll move the van and hide behind the gas station when you come out so you think we left without you.

    IMG_3409

    Windy 500 2017 planning has already begun.  It is becoming too amazing to contain.  We may begin limiting spots.  If you want in, raise your hand now or you may be left behind.

  • Why I do it, maybe you should too

    Why I do it, maybe you should too


    “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

    – Hunter S. Thompson

    IMG_1793

    There are certain questions that only you and I can answer for ourselves.  In the midst of life – job, kids, hectic schedules, etc., those questions and answers are often perpetually set aside.  Suddenly a week goes by, then a month, a year,  a decade.  Time is a constant.  Even though it feels like it speeds up every year, it hasn’t since I was a 10 year-old cruising the neighborhood with my BMX bike on one of those those long, hot July days.  It seemed like the sun would never set and when it finally did I was all too happy to crawl into bed and wait for the next day’s adventure to unfold.

    The Windy 500 has become that endless July day to me – literally.  Years ago as I approached my 40th birthday, I found myself needing to find that place in my soul again.  That same year, a random business conversation took an extreme turn when I found out that the person I was talking to had ridden across the U.S. as a teen with his whole family.  We were having lunch at a sports-themed restaurant and the Tour de France flashed across one of the TV screens.  One of us mentioned it, and he dropped the bomb.  His younger brother heard a speaker at school talk to the kids about a cross-country adventure, so that night at the dinner table the entire family of non-cyclists committed to a cross-country trip.  His story was fascinating: Schwinn Varsities, sleeping in front yards, Dad going back to work after 2 weeks leaving Mom to complete the trip with the kids, racing to the post office to pick up Western Union funds before closing time…  No phones, no GPS, carrying everything they needed.  The journey had shaped him, and made a permanent mark on the man he has become.  

    I began reading all the books I could find about those types of cross-country adventures and began planning to cross the U.S. by bike.  Then, reality happened.  I had a job, a family, a company – responsibilities.  The Windy 500 quickly became the “stunt double” for the cross-country trip that never happened.  Last year, as we rolled into my driveway and completed the 5th annual Windy 500, I had essentially completed my transcontinental trip.  As the crow flies, it’s about 2500 miles, +/-, across the USA, so this year’s edition will mark the beginning of the return trip.

    I can’t really put into words what this adventure means to me, though I’ve tried: Getting There…  It’s something that has come to mean a lot of things to more and more people every year.  Whenever I try to describe it, I end comparing it to seeing the mountains for the first time – “…you just had to be there…”

    Maybe this is your year to just be there.  Maybe it’s next year.  Doesn’t matter to me, I’ll be there every year until I have no more left.

    Windy 500 Planning Session:

    Wednesday, February 24, 2016

    7:00pm – ?

    Big Head Brewing Co.

    6204 W. State Street, Wauwatosa, WI 53213

  • 2015 Windy 500… you had to be there.

    2015 Windy 500… you had to be there.


    Alright folks, here it is – the one and only Windy 500 has once again shocked and amazed.  Old friends got reacquainted, new friends were made, beers were consumed and miles were ridden.  If you weren’t there, here’s a little glimpse of what you missed.  If you WERE there, consider yourself down, and take a minute to sop it up…

    Roll out – Friday, July 31, late (as usual)…

    No mailboxes were hurt during the roll-out.
    No mailboxes or 8 year-olds were hurt during the roll-out.

    Out on the open road, and within about 1/2 a mile we lost our sag.  We went right and the van went left.  (Note from Al Krueger – 10 miles later, Jason’s bike that he cobbled together the night before, unsurprisingly and finally, gave out. So, we sat on the side of the road for 35 minutes in the lovely Holy Hill area while we waited to get re-grouped with the sag, get his bike that actually worked and then we continued on.)  10 miles later we re-grouped and continued on.  The winds whipped up, making it impossible to communicate but we hammered on.  Eventually we fell into a rhythm, but not before stopping to all yell at each other a little.  The 5th Windy 500 was off to a very predictable start.

    Contrary to popular belief, we actually did ride our bikes from time to time.

    Further up the road (Oshkosh) we made the first of many mandatory stops for Mexican food and hydration.

    Lampe doing his best Windy mascot impression.
    Lampe doing his best Windy mascot impression.

    These are some tiny water glasses Señor!
    These are some tiny water glasses Señor!

    Back on the road, and back to the brutal head and crosswinds.  This year the Windy finally lived up to its name.  The was very little shelter from the wind, but having 21 riders sharing the work certainly helped a ton.

    Duwayne making driving 500 miles at 22mph look like cake.
    Duwayne making driving 500 miles at 22mph look like cake.

    Friday evening I was treated to a fantastic birthday celebration.  It’s easy to have fun when you “know SO many people…”

    Say fellas, you know what would make this evenings celebration a real hoot? A giant boot full of beer!
    Say fellas, you know what would make this evenings celebration a real hoot? A giant boot full of beer!

    On my way to gaining 8 pounds over the weekend...
    On my way to gaining 8 pounds over the weekend…

    A great time was had by all, or so I’ve heard.  Back on the road on Saturday, a spectacular day all around.

    A rare shot of Al not punching me in the balls.
    A rare shot of Al not punching me in the balls.

    It wasn’t long before we checked off one of the few Windy requirements: cross a state line.

    Here's a nice picture before Jeremy was assaulted by a homeless lady because his bike was in her way...
    Here’s a nice picture before Jeremy was assaulted by a homeless lady because his bike was in her way…

    The best part of rolling into the U.P. has become a stop at the legendary La Cabaña.

    Did I mention that I gained 8 pounds?
    Did I mention that I gained 8 pounds?

    PBR may just be the perfect fuel for this event.
    PBR – the perfect fuel for this event.

    Sharing is caring. This year bc introduced the all-new
    Sharing is caring. This year bc introduced the all-new “Beach-canical” and a few guys took advantage with a quick dip in Lake Michigan.

    After a relatively long but uneventful day in the saddle, we finally reached our turn-around.

    There are a LOT more dudes in this picture than last year.
    There are a LOT more dudes in this picture than last year.  We might need a bigger sign in 2016.

    And then there was Sunday.  A very long day on tap, 152 miles, and the forecast looked absolutely beautiful… a week ago.  By that morning the forecasters were predicting severe thunderstorms, hail and we even heard 60 mph winds at one point.

    You can't not smile on the Windy. I see you trying Mauck, it's not working.
    You can’t not smile on the Windy. I see you trying Mauck, it’s not working.

    The weather started off OK, but shortly into the ride there was a millisecond of lost focus and a couple of guys went down hard.  Road rash, bruised parts and egos, and a completely shredded derailleur hangar on Jeremy’s bike.  Then, to add insult to injury, the first storm hit.  Al made quick work of repairing the bike damage, and we found a temporary haven with the Briguglios in their Lake house.

    The work shed became just that during the storm, as Al made quick work of turning Jeremy's bike into a single speed to complete the next 250 miles. Rule #5.
    The work shed became just that during the storm, as Al made quick work of turning Jeremy’s bike into a single speed to complete the next 250 miles. Rule #5.

    While Al was hard at work fixing bikes in a musty shed, the rest of us got to work screwing around.

    Mile after mile, Volm never seemed to get tired...
    Mile after mile, Volm never seemed to get tired…

    Just kidding. We all shared the work.
    Just kidding. We all shared the work.

    Just as we’d fall into a groove, the storms would whip up out of nowhere.  A quick stop for fuel at a gas station would turn into shelter from the hail and driving wind and rain within 5 minutes.

    12:05 -
    12:05 – “Well guys, looks like smooth sailing today!”

    12:10 -
    12:10 – “Is that hail??”

    Although this day was the second longest in Windy history, and definitely the worst weather ever, it was epic.  Everyone will remember it, and it made for some awesome riding.

    IMG_0680

    Although no one really likes Al, we all seem to love him after he's had 1 beer.
    Although no one really likes Al, we all seem to love him after he’s had 1 beer.

    Here's Sarver looking for a bay window to relieve himself in front of. He now holds the Guinness record for exposure to the locals.
    Here’s Sarver looking for a bay window to relieve himself in front of. He now holds the Guinness record for exposure to the locals.

    Sunday evening we enjoyed pizzas by the pool and hot tub, along with Jameson and “guess my age” with strangers.  I’m not sure who won, but Finn definitely lost.  Monday morning we cashed in the points we earned on Sunday and were treated to the best weather we could have asked for.

    The hotel showers served as bike wash stations. After Sunday's storms it was hard to see what color each bike was.
    The hotel showers served as bike wash stations. After Sunday’s storms it was hard to see what color each bike was.

    We didn't have too many mechanicals, but almost all flats seemed to happen within a mile of the previous stop. Now THAT'S how you flat!
    We didn’t have too many mechanicals, but almost all flats seemed to happen within a mile of the previous stop. Now THAT’S how you flat!

    McArdle getting his angry face ready for some yelling.
    McArdle getting his angry face ready for some yelling.

    Nothing I could say here would explain this.
    Nothing I could say here would explain this.

    Who would have thought that this little rolling birthday party that started with 4 guys and a stupid idea would morph into the most celebrated weekend of every year?
    Who would have thought that this little rolling birthday party that started with 4 guys and a stupid idea would morph into the most celebrated weekend of every year?

    Ready for more, but the road ends here.
    Ready for more, but the road ends here.

    502 miles – done.  Definitely one for the books.  At this point, it’s hard to have a favorite year.  What’s not hard to do, is start thinking about next year’s trip already.

    This year’s ride is dedicated to Sugs who lost a week-long battle for his life after a serious accident last week.  They don’t make many like him, and the world will miss you Rob.  WORS, the Rampage, and countless other places and events where friends gather to ride bikes together will never be the same.

    IMG_0718

    .

  • 2015 Windy 500, Day 5


    It’s officially over.  Until next year.  Could not have been better.

    Look for the official Ride Report in the next couple of days…

    IMG_0680

  • Is it too early to start packing??


    2015 Windy 500 rolls in 8 days…Windy Kit

  • ToAD 2015


    Awesome 10 days of racing, and a surprising 4th overall after our leader had a string of bad luck and dropped from 2nd to 5th overall.

    Great team, great guys, great sponsors and great event.

    So... this happened...
    So… this happened…

    60474777-East+Troy+1+6-19-15+106

  • Jersey exchange?


    Just throwing it out there…

    I have a shit-ton of jerseys, and I figured it would be really cool to swap my old ones with someone from far, far away.  By total chance this weekend, I found some dude in Pakistan on Instagram rocking a jersey I sold on Ebay 2 years ago.

    So I Googled “cycling jersey exchange”, and I found jack squat.  Nothing.

    Here’s my “ask’:

    I have jerseys – Men’s Large, race cut.   You have jerseys – Men’s Large, race cut?  Let’s swap – like for like.

    Interested? jasonkayzar@gmail.com

    I guarantee that they are not hideous:

    4457015979_2a4fc289d5_o

    Go.

     

  • The Windy 500 hits the big time


     

    We’re proud to introduce our first 2015 in-kind sponsor: Pabst Blue Ribbon!

    PBR
    Follow PBR on Twitter and Instagram @pabst_milwaukee

    I was pretty stoked when this Windy 500 care package arrived today!  PBR Racing jerseys, caps and some highly coveted head badges.  For years we have enjoyed this sweet, sweet nectar pre-, during and post-ride.  Now we’ll be flying the colors in style. 

    Maybe it’s time to finally dump the Welfare/Goodwill bargain bin looks of the past and get all GQ this year…

    "I say, old boy, which way to the Speakeasy?"
    “I say, old boy, which way to the Speakeasy?”

    OK, at least we all match in this one...
    OK, at least we all match in this one…

    The Original Rainbow Warrior?
    The Original Rainbow Warrior?

    Hey Greg, does this fat make me look fat?
    Hey Greg, does this fat make me look fat?

    What??
    What??

    Looks like we’ll have the biggest crew ever this time – stay tuned for more.

    Live the Dream – Follow @pabst_milwaukee!

  • Golf – fat guys and cancer sticks


    Ct6IkIsleep-overworked-work-tired-workplace-ecards-someecards

    Golf is where it’s at!  Look at John Daly – livin’ the dream.  Sleep? Proper diet? Exercise?  SUCKERS.   Just because I have barely ridden my bike lately and only slept occasionally is no reason for me to give up on my dreams of being a competitive athlete.  Seriously, look at that tank!

    John-Daly-Fat

    Had I known I could suck a Newport Menthol in competition, I’d have made the transition eons ago.

    Gimme a cheeseburger already!

  • 2014 Rampage!


    Santa Rampage 076See you in 2015!

  • 2015 Windy 500 dates announced!


    Non Object

    ​I flew to Switzerland last night to attend the official press announcement for the
    2015 Windy 500.
    ​The event was a phenomenal, star-studded extravaganza.  I sat between Ben Stiller and Mark Cavendish.  Can’t believe that our little ride has grown into a Worldwide affair.
     
    Anyway, the 2015 Windy 500 (V) will once again travel North to Escanaba, MI.
    Looks like we may have found the perfect route in 2014, so we’re sticking with it.
    The ride will take place July 31 – August 3, 2015.
    Mark your calendars!
    Interested in riding?
    jasonkayzar@gmail.com

  • Getting there…


    WP pic

    This is always my favorite time of the cycling season.  Road racing is done and riding can be done for the sake of just riding.

    I just wrapped up my annual 500 mile bike trip (the “Windy 500“).  It was by far the best yet.  I thought a lot, about a lot of things and sometimes nothing at all.  This is my attempt to get those things and that nothing out of my head.

    *****

    Prior to starting the Windy 500 ride, I had only ever taken one overnight trip with friends as an adult.  September 13, 1992.  Madison, Wisconsin.  That ramble was truly unforgettable, but for whatever reason I never made time to take a trip with friends again for almost 20 years.

    Back in ’92 I was working as the Manager at Vic Tanny and a couple of my co-workers and I hatched a plan to go skydiving.  None of us had ever done it, and I had a mild fear of heights so I figured this would be a surefire cure.  Long story short, we arranged a trip to Seven Hills Skydiving in Madison.  The day was to be capped off with a U2 and Public Enemy concert at Camp Randall Stadium.

    The vast majority of people who “go skydiving” do a tandem jump.  They are strapped to someone like a reverse backpack and the experienced jumper takes them along for the ride.  Thrilling for some I’m sure, but we were after our own individual experience.  We opted for an “IAD” jump – Instructor Aided Deployment.  In order to perform an IAD, you are required to attend an all-day classroom and outdoor simulation training “boot camp”.  This teaches you to actually skydive and allows you to do everything on your own, except pull the chute open.

    The class began promptly at 8:00am and there were about 20 of us.  We read, watched videos and took a short break here or there.  In the afternoon, we began training outside.  We learned how to do a ‘PLF’ in a big bed of pea gravel.  PLFs or Parachute Landing Falls are designed to keep your toes from poking out of the top of your skull when you hit the ground, should your chute and reserve chute both fail to open properly.  You turn your knees one way and your head and shoulders the opposite to create a spring-like effect with your body.  I could show you one right now – haven’t even thought about it since my last jump about 17 years ago.  There were plenty of other things to learn and remember that day, but the primary drill that we repeated about 8,956 times was this:

    “Eyes on Red, Hands on Red

    Pull Red, Pull Reserve”

    It’s a lifesaving exercise that cuts your main chute away (should the primary chute malfunction) and deploys your back-up chute.  I can show it to you right now.  Ask me to do it while I’m sleeping tonight.  I’ll show you.

    When it was my turn to jump I stepped out the door on that little plane, X-thousand feet up in the sky, onto a tiny ledge only wide enough for one foot.  I inched my hands up the wing strut and crossed my left foot behind the other, stepped off the ledge and I was flying next to the plane – Superman-style.  I turned my head to the left and yelled “Check in!”.  My jump-master yelled “Skydive!”.  I let go of the plane, and as I did he tossed my pilot chute (the “rip cord”) out behind me.  My stomach vaulted into my throat as I fell away from the plane.  My chute opened, filled with air and I was suspended in the silent September afternoon.  The only noises were the hum of the airplane getting farther away and an occasional command coming over the one-way radio strapped to my shoulder.  There I was – flying.  Just like every kid dreams about.  A quick mental check-list confirmed that I was still alive and my mind was free to check-out completely.

    The reason that I was able to jump successfully is that the actions I needed to take had been pounded in to my subconscious.  I wasn’t thinking about what I had to do any more than I was thinking about breathing.  The steps were automatic.  My conscious mind had absolutely zero responsibility, so for the first time that I could remember I was able to dream while wide-awake.  Which leads me back to the ride I just finished…

    Part of the fun of doing a 500 mile ride in 4 days is answering people’s questions along the way.  Most non-cyclists look at us like aliens when we’re in Escanaba, Michigan and they ask where we came from.

    “Milwaukee.  Yesterday.”

    The vast majority of people just have no frame of reference to riding 125 miles on a bike, especially for 4 days in a row.  But here’s the secret sauce they don’t know about: anyone can do it.  After a few hundred miles your subconscious kicks in. Right pedal, left pedal, right pedal, left…  Like some kind of hypnotic Dr. Seuss book.  Suddenly you’re moving along at 20+ miles an hour, mesmerized by the guy’s socks or wheel in front of you.  You trim power, you add power.  Slight adjustments.  You’re tucked in, your front wheel rolls along six inches from his rear wheel.  Five inches apart, seven inches apart.  Your brain’s on cruise control.  Sun is shining – the trees all start to look the same.  THAT’S when I experience absolute freedom.

    Just like words and pictures can never replace experiencing the mountains or the ocean for the first time, I won’t pretend to be able to describe the feeling of absolute freedom.  There’s a freedom and purity that comes with absolute focus – where you bury yourself in the effort.  I’ve been there many times.  But that is a conscious decision to focus on nothing but one thing.  Not your subconscious giving you a wink and a nod – “…go ahead, take the day off.  Nobody’s watching…”

    ToAD Schlitz 2011 2

    Back in 1980 a movie called Altered States came out.  It was essentially about what happens when you truly eliminate all outside noise/stimuli and just let your mind go.  If I’m lucky enough, THAT’S what happens to me every year on the Windy 500 trip.  Sometimes it doesn’t at all.  When it does it’s probably only for 10 or 15 minutes at the most.  But that experience cannot be bought or sold, for any amount of money.

    This year’s ride was the perfect storm; a great route, pancake flat sections with no traffic for miles and a  great group of guys taking monster pulls.  About 200 miles in I lost all sense of space and time.  I thought of absolutely nothing for about 15 minutes.  No idea where I was, what I was doing, the time or date… nothing.  I was dreaming wide awake, rolling along the country-side 2nd wheel at about 21 or 22 mph.  That is not to say I wasn’t paying attention and I was probably going to cause a crash or veer off the road into a tree.  My subconscious had everything under control.  If anything out of the norm were to happen, I would have instantly reacted.  But for that brief moment in time I was absolutely free.  Flying like I had just jumped out of a plane.

     2012-08-05 09.40.06

  • 2014 Windy 500 is in the books

    2014 Windy 500 is in the books


    Technology 1. Duwayne 0.
    Technology 1. Duwayne 0.

    What turned out to the be the best Windy 500 ever fell short in only one category: mileage.  This year’s route left us 4 miles short: 496 miles with an 18mph average speed.  In all the years past we were always over, so at this point I’m using my rollover miles to call it an even 500.  This ride really has taken on a life of its own.  Year One was 4 guys and no support – chasing daylight 160 miles on Day 1.  This year was 11 guys with a full size Suburban stocked with tools and cold PBR following 100 yards behind us all day.

    "Beer-canical!"
    “Beer-canical!”

    From the start, this year was spot on.  Blake lead us out of my driveway and proceeded to sprint into a mailbox 2 blocks down the road.  That’s why we don’t include 7 year-olds in flip-flops…

    start

    Everyone stretched their legs a bit in the first section through Holy Hill before we settled into a comfortable pace for the rest of the ride.  A quick stop in Allenton to fuel up and we were off.  Lunch was a walk down memory lane from Year One in Oshkosh.

    Mex

    A toast to Gary Johnson
    A toast to Gary Johnson

    Typically, we end up with a lot of flats, which means we end up stopping a lot for PBRs.  This year we had only 4 flats (plus one slow leak), all of which were caused by road hazards.  It’s tough to go 500 miles in Wisconsin during August without hitting at least some road construction.  We found our share of gravel roads and potholes, but there were times when we actually needed faux-flats in order to make sure we stayed hydrated.

    Purple Bunny Rabbit
    Purple Bunny Rabbit

    The first day ended in Green Bay, and in the morning we took off for Escanaba.  Everyone was feeling great, and the roads were spectacular and pancake flat.  This trip is really all about the journey, and this year was by far the best ever.  We tapped out about 120 miles on Day 2 at with a 19.1 average speed surrounded by lush country scenery.

    rest

    In the zone...
    In the zone…

    The Windy 500 has become a testing ground for Mexican food, and this year we found the best South of the Border food North of the Border.  Just over the Michigan state line we stopped for lunch at La Cabana.  If you ever find yourself in Menominee, MI with an empty stomach, I highly recommend the special of the day.

    Cabana

    From there it was an easy roll to Escanaba, where we enjoyed fine imported beer.

    escana

    pbr3The following morning we turned our bikes around and headed South.  Jeremy was plagued with the first couple of flats, but then McArdle and I each fell victim as well.

    jk FLAT

    The Real Jeremy gets a Real Flat
    The Real Jeremy gets a Real Flat

    Back to La Cabana for another spectacular lunch and back to Green Bay for another spectacular moonlit night.

    moon

    Of course, it wasn’t all fun.  We did make sure to journal our food and use food scales to properly measure what we were taking in.  The body is a temple after all. 

    Hydration is key
    Hydration is key

    ice creaM
    Always keep your sag driver happy…

    sarver
    Beggars can’t be choosers

    We hit a little rain on Friday and a little more on Monday (tradition), but never enough to dampen spirits.  Thankfully, we always seemed to find a PBR dispensary at just the right time.

    RAIN

    We rolled into Brookfield around dinner time on Monday, always good to get home.  Everyone was a little tired, but in one piece.

    This route was so awesome, we’re considering doing it again next year.

    Smack talk, flatulence, bondage, midgets, unicorns...
    Smack talk, flatulence, bondage, midgets, unicorns…

    W500 PBR logo

  • Mobile Test Post – 5 days to go…


    20140728-085513-32113532.jpg

  • Windy 500 v4.0: It’s the Final Countdown

    Windy 500 v4.0: It’s the Final Countdown


    Europe

    We are nowhere near as cool or sexy as these long-maned Swedish man-whores, but we’re not opposed to letting a Glam Metal staple like Europe explain the Windy 500 v4.0:

    “We’re leaving together,
    But still it’s farewell
    And maybe we’ll come back,
    To earth, who can tell?”

    I don’t even know if they speaks the English so good, so I doubt they knew what they were singing about.  Or maybe they were actually trying to make the second worst song ever…

    Side Note: In my former life as a local roadie, I actually set up for Europe (or was it Holland?) at Marty Zivko’s in Hartford.

    Anyway, back to bike riding.  The 4th Annual Ride of Stupidity is nearly here and we have a dozen or so slightly shorter haired dudes ready to Ride Angry.

    This year’s ride will be one veteran short, and therefore for the first time ever, the coveted Grey Jersey (“Gris Jaune”) will be up for grabs.  Our esteemed colleague, Jeremy Johnson, suffered a nasty fall and is on the Injured Reserve for this go-round:

    Jeremy Johnson warming up for Schlitz Park
    Jeremy Johnson warming up for Schlitz Park

    All the best my man!

    Look for the full ride report mid-August, and mark your calendars for next year’s adventure.

    1waba050

  • ToAD 2014


    Short and sweet;

    ToAD hard.

    ToAD East Troy 2014

    Ronald good.

    TW

    Until next year.

  • “Cycling is the New Golf”


    About a week ago, I got a call at my desk from CNN.  My first thought was: who is this and what are they trying to sell me??  Turns out they were doing an article about cycling and business and someone tipped them off to my Midwest Cycling Networking group.

    Here’s the article: 

    For entrepreneurs, cycling is the new golf

    I was more than willing to share the gospel of cycling as well as how it has positively impacted me personally as well as my business’ bottom line.  It’s definitely a “good news” story – I’m in better shape at almost 45 than I was at 25, and I’ve met so many awesome friends over the past 6 years that I lost count a long time ago.  For me, bikes and business have been a true blessing.  I’ve grown my fitness, my business, but most importantly – my base of friends.  Not business-name-tag-wearing acquaintances, but TRUE friends.  Guys who would bail me out of jail at 2:00am on a Saturday, no questions asked.

    So after the article was posted for a day or two I went back and re-read it.  By the way, one of the other guys they referenced was John Schnatter, founder of Papa John’s.  Maybe you’ve heard of his business?

    Anyway, I read the article and then I read a handful of the comments.  WOW.  Apparently bunch of spiteful, arrogant assholes read the CNN Money Blog.  Here are a couple of sample comments:

    Langor1 • a day ago

    “You’re the same as the person riding next to you. So it makes people more approachable. ” What BS, pricks on $5000 bikes are still pricks.

    yomama • a day ago

    Can’t compare the networking potential between golfing and biking. The idea is dumb. You basically eliminating from your network all people that are out of shape, which is most of the ones that could be beneficial. This article is useless.

    patroy75 • a day ago

    Another stupid article by a failing news outlet. Cycling is not the new golf. You aren’t going to invite your client cycling. Especially if he’s a giant fat golf playing couch potato. Even fat people golf. not a lot of fat people out cycling and when they are out cycling, they need to stop wearing the outfit!

    I’d go on, but you get the picture.  To make matters worse, Golf Digest ran the article and gave their version of cycling hate speech too:

    ‘Cycling is the new golf,’ says CNN Money. Really?

    Normally, I’d blow this off, but let’s just say I’m in a mood today.  Here was my response:

    Jason Kayzar • 2 hours ago

    Interesting. I am featured in this article. I was contacted out of the blue about an opportunity that I set up over 6 years ago to meet like-minded people. It’s amazing how many people want to tear it apart online. It’s simply a group of people who do something they love together. Golf Digest ran this article and ripped apart on the basis that golf is better. Really?

    I’d bet that Tiddleywinks Weekly probably doesn’t like it either. I’m just glad I spend my time outdoors doing what I love, rather than trolling the internet looking to offer my negative opinion about anything and everything.

    Commence negative comments.

    I’m a very easy-going guy.  I ride because I love it.  It makes me a better person, Dad, husband and friend.  I have no tolerance for hate-speech, and I don’t understand it.  If you’re fat and unhappy, change it.  If you enjoy golf or some other sport/activity, great!  That’s what life’s all about.  But to go out of your way to criticize and condemn others for doing something that can only be interpreted as good/healthy, I don’t get it.  Get a life.  In fact, get my life.  Losers.

    2013-07-27 09.54.32