AKA: 14.5 Reasons Riding Bikes 500 Miles Will Make You More Awesome

The 2016 Windy 500 rolled out sort of  on-time on Friday, July 30^th at 8:20am-ish, 27 strong.  Blake signed on again as our lead-out man.
We would have left earlier if not for a mystery deuce or two.  No idea who was responsible, but I have my suspicions.

This ride is only a success because of the year-long pre-planning that goes into it, specifically from bc and McArdle.  Our first stop was breakfast at Alma’s in Allenton. We were treated to a hot and ready breakfast buffet that would have made your momma cry.  30 or so guys had even made a recon run up to the restaurant 2 weeks earlier to make sure they’d be ready for us.  Unbelievable.

With bellies sufficiently full we rolled on, destined for more food and drink.  Most new guys scoffed at the fact that we all gain weight on this ride, yet post-ride scales generally register 5-6 pounds heavier (I was at almost +7).  Next stop – salted nut rolls and PBR.

Next stop – MEXICAN FOOD!  Roughly 80 miles in is the Oshkosh food stop.  We filled the outdoor seating area and watched a massive amount of planes flying in and out of the EAA.

Parking was somewhat of a premium.

A very different scenario from the 4 random, haggard, unsupported cyclists that found this gem 6 years earlier.  Hey, I think that’s the guy that took a big grumpy at my house before we left!

Alright, this is a bike ride after all.  According to Strava, we covered over 515 miles in 4 days.  We all stared at many a man-ass for hours at a time.  I try to block that part from my mind.

After 137.1 miles we enjoyed a late dinner at Titletown Brewery and crashed relatively early at the Hyatt like the ballers we are.

Day 2 got us up and moving toward Escanaba.  We had a number of bonus stops to make, so we got right to it.  Random roadside bathroom breaks allowed Duwayne to pick up a hitch hiker destined for the border.  He liked our group so much that he stayed on for the whole trip.

 There are only 3 guidelines for the Windy 500:

1. Do not talk about Fight Club.
2. Ride your a bike 500 miles
3. Complete the ride in 4 days
4. Cross a state line.

Shortly after we cross into Michigan we stop at our favorite Mexican restaurant:

La Cabaña 

If you haven’t been there, you suck and you should not be allowed to reproduce.

Some day we may figure out that wearing the tightest clothes you have and eating until you can’t breathe, followed by riding bikes in the heat is a terrible idea, but I really hope we don’t.  So, 2 miles later we went to Freddy’s Grandma’s to eat the world’s largest chocolate chip cookies.

Next stop – Bruguglio’s.  Last year we had our only* crash. 2 minutes later the skies opened up and it started to pour.  We were taken in by the kindness of a family at their lake-side cabin, so we decided to stop by again this year and deliver some of those world record cookies.

Day 2 – done.  116.6 miles.  Running total – 253.7 miles.  

 * yeah, so… crashes.  Only 1 “officially” in all Windy’s combined.  Unless you count the 3-4 solo (stone cold sober) parking lot crashes in 2016.  I can’t explain it.  First Aid was administered to boo-boos and we rolled.

Saturday night we stayed in the dumpiest dump of all, complete with Glade Plug-Ins and a cold-plunge pool that was once a functioning hot tub.  The town shuts down at sunset, so it was pizzas delivered to the conference/breakfast room for dinner.

Early Sunday morning Dr. Long treated a group of us to a very moving outdoor service, while sporting a Ben’s Cycle shirt.  This year’s ride produced so many memorable things that it’s really hard to cram them all in, but this was definitely pretty high on the list.

Did I mention that we also rode bikes?  Blah, blah blah.

Day 3, rolling, rolling rolling. Our longest day, 152.7 miles – running total 406.4 miles.  Unbelievable, spectacular, unicorns and rainbows weather.  82^° and a tailwind.  We covered the first 100 miles like butter in a hot pan.

Day 4 – home.  109 miles – 515.4 miles all in.

We learned a lot along the way:

Lastly – don’t ever be the last guy to use the bathroom, or we’ll move the van and hide behind the gas station when you come out so you think we left without you.

Windy 500 2017 planning has already begun.  It is becoming too amazing to contain.  We may begin limiting spots.  If you want in, raise your hand now or you may be left behind.

Alright folks, here it is – the one and only Windy 500 has once again shocked and amazed.  Old friends got reacquainted, new friends were made, beers were consumed and miles were ridden.  If you weren’t there, here’s a little glimpse of what you missed.  If you WERE there, consider yourself down, and take a minute to sop it up…

Roll out – Friday, July 31, late (as usual)…

Out on the open road, and within about 1/2 a mile we lost our sag.  We went right and the van went left.  (Note from Al Krueger – 10 miles later, Jason’s bike that he cobbled together the night before, unsurprisingly and finally, gave out. So, we sat on the side of the road for 35 minutes in the lovely Holy Hill area while we waited to get re-grouped with the sag, get his bike that actually worked and then we continued on.)  10 miles later we re-grouped and continued on.  The winds whipped up, making it impossible to communicate but we hammered on.  Eventually we fell into a rhythm, but not before stopping to all yell at each other a little.  The 5th Windy 500 was off to a very predictable start.

Further up the road (Oshkosh) we made the first of many mandatory stops for Mexican food and hydration.

Back on the road, and back to the brutal head and crosswinds.  This year the Windy finally lived up to its name.  The was very little shelter from the wind, but having 21 riders sharing the work certainly helped a ton.

Friday evening I was treated to a fantastic birthday celebration.  It’s easy to have fun when you “know SO many people…”

A great time was had by all, or so I’ve heard.  Back on the road on Saturday, a spectacular day all around.

It wasn’t long before we checked off one of the few Windy requirements: cross a state line.

The best part of rolling into the U.P. has become a stop at the legendary La Cabaña.

After a relatively long but uneventful day in the saddle, we finally reached our turn-around.

And then there was Sunday.  A very long day on tap, 152 miles, and the forecast looked absolutely beautiful… a week ago.  By that morning the forecasters were predicting severe thunderstorms, hail and we even heard 60 mph winds at one point.

The weather started off OK, but shortly into the ride there was a millisecond of lost focus and a couple of guys went down hard.  Road rash, bruised parts and egos, and a completely shredded derailleur hangar on Jeremy’s bike.  Then, to add insult to injury, the first storm hit.  Al made quick work of repairing the bike damage, and we found a temporary haven with the Briguglios in their Lake house.

While Al was hard at work fixing bikes in a musty shed, the rest of us got to work screwing around.

Just as we’d fall into a groove, the storms would whip up out of nowhere.  A quick stop for fuel at a gas station would turn into shelter from the hail and driving wind and rain within 5 minutes.

Although this day was the second longest in Windy history, and definitely the worst weather ever, it was epic.  Everyone will remember it, and it made for some awesome riding.

Sunday evening we enjoyed pizzas by the pool and hot tub, along with Jameson and “guess my age” with strangers.  I’m not sure who won, but Finn definitely lost.  Monday morning we cashed in the points we earned on Sunday and were treated to the best weather we could have asked for.

502 miles – done.  Definitely one for the books.  At this point, it’s hard to have a favorite year.  What’s not hard to do, is start thinking about next year’s trip already.

This year’s ride is dedicated to Sugs who lost a week-long battle for his life after a serious accident last week.  They don’t make many like him, and the world will miss you Rob.  WORS, the Rampage, and countless other places and events where friends gather to ride bikes together will never be the same.

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